Light Bulb Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 50. 50? Yeah 50; its in the contract.
Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Five - one to change the bulb and four to protect him from muggers.
Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 21 - one to change it and 20 to watch it happen without trying to stop it.
Q: How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two-one to get murdered under the burnt-out bulb and the other to replace it after the ensuing publicity.
Q: How many polite, considerate native New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Both of them.
Q: How many Yorkshiremen does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Four. One to change it, one to hold his racing pigeon, one to hold his greyhound, and one to drink his pint of bitter.
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a more...
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It's hard to say. Each time we separate the bulb into its modules to do unit testing, it stops working.
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: The change is 90% complete.
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: We looked at the light fixture and decided there's no point trying to maintain it. We're going to rewrite it from scratch. Could you wait two months?
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Only one, but she's not available. She's the only programmer we have who can get the [insert name here] software ready to ship to customers, and that's higher priority, you know.
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Four, plus one senior analyst to manage the project, one technical writer to correct the spelling and grammar of the one who documented it, one lightbulb more...
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One, but if he changes it, the whole building will probably fall down.
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One always leaves in the middle of the project.
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Five. Two to write the specification program, one to screw it in, and two to explain why the project was late.
Q: How many' real' programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None.' Real' programmers prefer LEDs.
Q: How many Newtons does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Foux! There to eat lemons, axe gravy soup.
Q: How many Newtons does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Farm.
Note: Refers to the Newton's poor handwriting recognition techniques of the past.
Q: How many Apple Newton users does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Only one, tharks to the extnq-producilve more...
Q: How many alt. anagrams readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Three. One to say it can't be done because there aren't enough vowels, one to be clever and change "a lightbulb" into "bull bit hag", and one to try and sell copies of the "Anagram for Windows" program he wrote.
Q: How many alt. fan. pratchett readers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to actually change the bulb, one to write amusing footnotes about it, one to propose to Laura, and a newbie to ask if that's really THE Terry Or colette or both, and then to realise that the speed of light can't be measured, except in badgers, or possibly multiple of pi, then to say sod it and ask if anyone knows where to find the lyrics for the hedgehog song...
Q: How many alt. folklore. urban readers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: It depends on the way the bulb is threaded.
Q: How many alt. folklore. urban readers does it take more...
Q: How many USENETers does it take to screw in a ligth bulb?
A. None. They are so busy hogging up bandwidth taking out their postadolescent frustrations on each other, that they never get around to it!
Q: How many rec. humor. funny readers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: 50. They all stand out in the hall while Maddi comes out every once in a while and looks at all the light bulbs people have brought. Finally she selects a few. They're all quite feeble and burn out after a few minutes, so she comes out for more. But she selects more dim bulbs, which causes great discontent among the people who have brought really bright, long-lasting bulbs.
Q: How many rec. humour posters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 31. One to change the lightbulb and thirty to flame them for picking the wrong wattage. No, better make that 32. .. Captain Nitpick will want to point out that the newsgroup is rec. humor (US spelling) *not* rec. more...
Q: How many sci. math readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Pi. Two hold the ladder, one the bulb, but something irrational remains about it.
Q: How many alt. tla readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One-no! Six is!
Q: How many alt. newbie readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Me! Me too! Me too!
Q: How many alt. fan. hofstadter readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They have special lightbulbs that screw themselves.
Q: How many alt. fan. douglas-adams readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 42.
Q: How many alt. alien. visitors readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One. (screw screw screw) Aargh! The light! I'm being abducted!
Q: How many alt. 1d readers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Hmmm, yes, very funny, but what has this got to do with 1d?
Q: How many alt. spam readers does it take to change a more...
Q: How many Polaks does it take to change a light bulb?A: 3. One to stand on a chair and hold the bulb and the other two to
spin the chair.