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A keen analyst: Thoroughly confused.
Accepts new job assignments willingly: Never finishes a job.
Active socially: Drinks heavily.
Alert to company developments: An office gossip.
Approaches difficult problems with logic: Finds someone else to do the job.
Average: Not too bright.
Bridge builder: Likes to compromise.
Character above reproach: Still one step ahead of the law.
Charismatic: No interest in any opinion but his own.
Competent: Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps.
Conscientious and careful: Scared.
Consults with co-workers often: Indecisive, confused, and clueless.
Consults with supervisor often: Very annoying.
Delegates responsibility effectively: Passes the buck well.
Demonstrates qualities of leadership: Has a loud voice.
Displays excellent intuitive judgement: Knows when to disappear.
Displays great dexterity and agility: Dodges and evades superiors well.
Enjoys job: Needs more...

Here's a chance for you men to find out how compassionate and sensitive you are to women. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Simple Duties
You make the bed. (+1)
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows. (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets. (-1)
You leave the toilet seat up. (-5)
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty. (0)
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex. (-1)
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom. (-2)
You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings. (+5)
But return with beer. (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night. (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing. (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something. (+5)
You pummel it more...

A recent survey carried out by a leading soft drink manufacturer in
Disneyland produced some strange results.
Mickey Mouse like Coca-Cola, while Minnie prefers Pepsi.
Donald Duck likes Dr.Pepper, while Daisy prefers RootBeer.
Pluto likes plain old lemonade, as does Goofy.
But Snow White adores 7up.

Tired of boring old dog name like Ruff, Spot, Lassie, etc?
The next time you get a dog, name it: Mypenis
Why, you ask? Well just look at some of the great excuses you can use for school, work, and general conversation!
-I did do my homework but Mypenis ate it!
-Oh no, Mypenis is frothing at the mouth!
-Sorry I’m late. I was playing with Mypenis.
-I’m sorry officer, I didn’t realize I had to keep Mypenis on a leash.
-Mypenis doesn’t come when I call it.
-Mypenis likes to crawl between the legs of guests.
-If Mypenis begs at the dinner table, I just tell it to LAY DOWN!
-I love giving Mypenis a bath, but Mypenis doesn’t like cold water.
-At night, I like to snuggle with Mypenis.
-Mypenis likes it when people pet him.
-Mypenis needs to get more exercise. He weighs over fifty pounds!
-Playing with Mypenis really wears me out.
-Would you like to see a picture of Mypenis?
-Sometimes I wake up, and more...

A recent survey carried out by a leading soft drink manufacturer inDisneyland produced some strange results.Mickey Mouse like Coca-Cola, while Minnie prefers Pepsi.Donald Duck likes Dr.Pepper, while Daisy prefers RootBeer.Pluto likes plain old lemonade, as does Goofy.But Snow White adores 7up.

Chain Letter Type IVAs if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of yourfriends. Friends- A friend is someone who is always at your side,- A friend is someone who likes you even though you smell like a wet dog,- A friend is someone who likes you even though you're disgustingly ugly,- A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself,- A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your loser life,- A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you should be raped by a mad goat and then thrown to vicious dogs, - Afriend is someone who scrubs your toilet and vacuums and then gets the check and leaves and doesn't speak much English no, sorry that's the cleaning lady, Now pass this on! If you don't, Satan will send dogs in heat to your room inyour sleep!! There. Now that we've covered and dumped on the four main types of chainletters, onto the ironic part. In order for this to get any popularity, send more...

Satharji is a man who works in a construction company.
Once when they were constructing a building, at lunch time when they all sat together to have their lunch in the fifth floor.

one man siad that he likes bread & if his wife havent given bread he would jump & suicide, when he opened the lunch bx it was not bread he jumped from the building.

then another said that he likes parata & if it is not there he would die, it was not there & he jumped. another said he likes rice & if it is not there he would die, & it wasnt there he jumped.

then Satharji said that he likes pizzas & if it is not there he would die, when he opened the lunch box some sandwitches were there then he jumped from the building.

that evening everybodys wives came & were crying but Satharjis wife didnt cry. then everybody asked her " Why arent you crying?"
"Why should I cry for this stupid man? today i didnt make lunch for him..... he made it by more...