Lipstick Jokes / Recent Jokes

According to a news report, a certain private school recently was faced with a unique problem.
A number of middle school girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man.
She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the maintenance man who had to clean the mirrors every night.
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.
He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.
Since then, there more...

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the more...

More beer. More cheese. More sex.
Vitamin fortified cigars.
Public beer fountains.
Kitty catapults.
All day happy hour at a lesbian Hooters.
Wet T-shirt Fridays.
Replace NFL linebackers with genetically bred velociraptors.
Rocket boots.
Machine gun camp.
NASA space shuttle races.
Sledgehammer boxing.
Girlfriend TiVO so you can pause, rewind, and delete arguments.
Congressional pie fights.
Government research grants to build the perfect chicken parmesan hero.
More beer. More cheese. More sex.
Tomahawk missile surf boards.
Hot tub jury boxes.
Nacho cheese lipstick.
Personal midget-ninja chauffeurs.
New TV shows: PBS’ The BBQ Hour, Total Kung-Fu Live, and America’s Funniest Farts.
24-hour, on call UN negotiator for when you stumble home late, drunk, with lipstick stains on your collar.
More beer. More cheese. More sex.
Condoms that whistle, whir, and honk when more...

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earings?
A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.

Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?
A: Lipstick.

Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.

Q: Why do blondes wear red lipstick?
A: Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."

Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators?
A: They chip their teeth.

Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A: From eating with forks.

Q: Why do blondes wear panties?
A: They make good ankle warmers.

Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?
A: Cause their balls show!

Q: What do blondes do for foreplay?
A: Remove their underwear.

Q: What's the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I'm more...

Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earings?
A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.
Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.
Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?
A: Lipstick.
Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.
Q: Why do blondes wear red lipstick?
A: Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."
Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators?
A: They chip their teeth.
Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A: From eating with forks.
Q: Why do blondes wear panties?
A: They make good ankle warmers.
Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?
A: Cause their balls show!
Q: What do blondes do for foreplay?
A: Remove their underwear.
Q: What's the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"
Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A: more...

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earings? A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive? A: Her ankles.Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS? A: Lipstick.Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick? A: Because red means stop.Q: Why do blondes wear red lipstick? A: Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators? A: They chip their teeth.Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces? A: From eating with forks.Q: Why do blondes wear panties? A: They make good ankle warmers.Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts? A: Cause their balls show! Q: What do blondes do for foreplay? A: Remove their underwear.Q: What's the mating call of the blonde? A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde? A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"Q: What's the mating call of the brunette? A: "All the more...