Lipstick Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: Why do blondes wear red lipstick?
A: Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."

Why it's better to be a Woman! 1. We got off the Titanic first. 2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. 3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours. 4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. 5. We can cry and get off speeding fines. 6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game. 7. Taxis stop for us. 8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. 9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. 10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies. .. (you get the point). 11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay. 12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay. 13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life. 14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower. 15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves. 16. If more...

According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the restroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all of the girls to the restroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how! difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance guy to clean one of them. He took a long handled squeegee, dipped it into the toilet and then cleaned the mirror. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirrors.

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earings? A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles. Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive? A: Her ankles. Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS? A: Lipstick. Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick? A: Because red means stop. Q: Why do blondes wear red lipstick? A: Because red means "Stop, wrong hole." Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators? A: They chip their teeth. Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces? A: From eating with forks. Q: Why do blondes wear panties? A: They make good ankle warmers. Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts? A: Cause their balls show! Q: What do blondes do for foreplay? A: Remove their underwear. Q: What's the mating call of the blonde? A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde? A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"Q: What's the mating call of the brunette? A: more...

According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.

She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day.

To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors. She asked the custodian to clean one of the mirrors. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it into the toilet, and then cleaned the mirror.

Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

Why it's better to be a Woman! 1. We got off the Titanic first. 2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. 3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours. 4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. 5. We can cry and get off speeding fines. 6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game. 7. Taxis stop for us. 8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. 9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. 10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies... (you get the point). 11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay. 12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay. 13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life. 14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower. 15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves. 16. If more...

Why it's better to be a Woman!
1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game.
7. Taxis stop for us.
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies... (you get the point).
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group more...