Little Johnny Jokes / Recent Jokes

The teacher asked little Johnny if he knows his numbers. "Yes," he said. "My dad taught me." "Good! Can you tell me what comes after three." "Four," answers little Johnny. "What comes after six?" "Seven.""Very good," says the teacher. "Your father did a good job. What comes after ten?" "A jack," says little Johnny.

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.
"Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him."
Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture!"

Thanks for the harmonica you gave me for Christmas," Little Johnny said to his Uncle Rodney, the first time he saw him after the holidays. "It's the best Christmas present I ever got." "That's great," said his Uncle Rodney. "Do you know how to play it?" "Oh, I don't play it," Little Johnny said. "My mom gives me a dollar a day not to play it during the day and my dad gives me five dollars a week not to play it at night."

Little Johnny missed his final exam due to the flu, but he'd done so well during the year that the teacher suggested to theprincipal that they gave him an oral exam to make up for the test he missed.
The principal agreed so they called Little Johnny into the office and explained to him what they were going to do.
Then the teacher asked, "Johnny, what does a cow have four of, that I only have two of?"
Little Johnny replied, "Legs."
The teacher asked, "Johnny, what do you have in your pants that I don't have in my pants?"
Little Johnny replied, "Pockets."
The teacher asked, "Johnny, what is the capital of Italy?"
Little Johnny replied. "Rome."
The teacher turned to the principal and asked, "Should we pass him?"
The principal replied, "Better not ask me, I got the first two wrong"

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he needed > >to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!
The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is' urinate.' Please use the word' urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go."
Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a ten!!!"

One day Little Johnny is in his back yard digging a hole. His neighbor, seeing him there, decides to investigate.
He asks, "Whatcha doin?"
Little Johnny replies, "My goldfish died and I'm burying him."
"That's an awful big hole for a goldfish,ain't it?" asked the neighbor.
Little Johnny shouts back, "That's because he's inside your cat!!"

Coming through the door after school one day, Little Johnny hollers out..."Okay everyone in the house, please stand advised that I, Little Johnny Elvis Smith, have on this date made a complete fool of myself in sex-education class by repeating stories concerning storks as told to me by certain parties residing in this house!"