Little Johny Jokes / Recent Jokes

Little Johnny burst through the front door with a smile on his face. Surprised that Johnny was home so early, his mother asked, "Why are you home from school so early?"
Johnny answered, "I was the only one who could answer a question."
"Oh, really? What was the question?" his mother asked.
"Who threw the eraser at the teacher?"

Little Johnny came home from his hot date and sat down to talk with his dad. He had a smile on his face.' It must be true love, dad' he sighed.
'What makes you think that it is true love?' asks his dad.
'Well," says Little Johnny,' Suzy started out giving me the best blow job I've ever had.'
'Nah,' replied his dad,' that's not true love, it is just lust.'
The next night Little Johnny came in after his date, and sat down again to talk with his dad.' For sure it is true love, dad.' he said.
'What makes you think that it is true love this time?' asks his dad.
'Well," says Little Johnny,' Tonight Suzy gave me the best blow job of my life, then let me take her up the ass!'
'That's not true love, Johnny,' replied his dad,' that is just infatuation.'
'If what Suzy and I have is just infatuation, then what is true love?' asked Little Johnny, confused.
'Well,' says his dad,' if it was true love, she would let you f*ck her up the ass first, more...

Little Johnny to Billy, "You know, Jane Smith cheats!"
"Why do you say that?" asked Billy.
"Well she said she'd show me hers if I showed her mine - but it turns out she hasn't got one!" exclaimed Little Johnny.

Tell me something," asked Freddie, "how many cookies can you eat on an empty stomach, Little Johnny?"
Little Johnny scratched his lizard pecker head and said, "Well, five, I think."
"Wrong," said Jon. "You can only eat just one. After that, your stomach isn't empty any more! Gotcha!"
Little Johnny was impressed so he decided to pull the joke on his sister, Judi, when he got home.
"Hey, Sis, how many cookies can you eat on an empty stomach?"
Judi thought for a minute or two (it takes awhile to get those two brain cells to fire together) and said, "Two."
Little Johnny was dejected. "Aw, if you'd said *five* I had a great joke for you!"

Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning.
He got to thinking about things, and asked, "Mommy, why does Daddy have so little hair on his head?"
"He thinks a lot, dear" replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a such good answer to her husband's baldness.
"Then why do you have so much hair?" asked Little Johnny.

Little Johnny's 2nd-grade teacher was quizzing them on the alphabet.
"Johnny," she says, "what comes after' O'?"
Johnny says, "God, I'm coming!!"

Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother gently rubbed cold cream on her face.
"Why are you rubbing cold cream on your face, Mommy?" he asked.
"To make myself beautiful," said his mother.
A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with a tissue.
"What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"