Little Johny Jokes / Recent Jokes

"Little Johnny, what does your Daddy do for a living?", the teacher asked.
Johnny answered, "My Daddy is a dildo maker and he says my mommy is a test pilot."

One day, Little Johnny's teacher, Miss Figpot asked the class if they could name some things you can suck!"
"Ice cream, ma'am!" Little Mary answered.
"Good, Jane." Miss Figpot said, "Anyone else?". "How about a lollipop!" said Steven.
"Very good, now it's your turn Johnny!", the teacher said. Little Johnny, sitting at back then answered, "A lamp!".
The teacher and all of the students wondered about his answer.

The teacher asked him, "Johnny, why do you think one can suck a lamp?"
Last night when I passed my parents room", Little Johnny answered, "I heard my mom say, turn off the lamp honey, I wanna suck."

Little Johnny asks the teacher, "Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?"
The teacher replies, "Yes, but only after you recite the alphabet, Johnny."
Little Johnny says, "Fine!" Then he quickly babbles out: "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO QRSTUVWXYZ!!! "
The teacher asks him, "Where is the P, Johnny?"
Johnny screams, "IT'S RUNNING DOWN MY LEG!!! PLEASE LET ME GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!"

Little Johnny and Jane are playing in a sandbox. Little Johnny has to go to take a pee but he was told by his mother to always be polite and don't talk about private matters in public.
At first he holds it in for a little while because he does not know what to say Jane to excuse himself. Then he remembers what his Mom had said at the restaurant to excuse herself from the table.

So he turns to Jane and says "Will you excuse me I have to go powder my nose." And saying that he leaps out of the sandbox and runs to the washroom.
When he comes back Jane looks up at him and asks, "Did you powder your nose?"
"Yes" said Little Johnny stepping back into the sandbox.
"Well then" says Jane, "You'd better close your compact because your lipstick is hanging out!"

Little Johnny's parents were having a party at their house. One of the guests was observing Little Johnny, who would hold his chest whenever he bent down.
After a few minutes, the woman asked Little Johnny, "Why do you hold your chest whenever you bend down?"
Little Johnny said, "It is to keep my lungs from falling out. One day my teacher was writing on the board, and the chalk fell down. When she bent down to pick up the chalk, I saw her lungs come right out of her chest!"

Johnny's parents were out of town once and so they asked that young female teacher to stay for that time in their house.
Before going to bed Johnny says to her "Oh, please, I'm so afraid to be by myself, please, sleep in my bed."
She agrees, they go to bed.
In the morning she wakes up to find a big hairy-chested man in her bed.
She exclaims: "Johnny? Where is Johnny?!!!"
"Johnny? Who is Johnny? Is that the little boy selling the tickets?"

The teacher asked, "What is actually used as a conductor of electricity Little Johnny?"
Little Johnny stammered, "Why... er?"
The teacher smiled and said, "Wire is right. Very good Little Johnny.
Now tell me, what is the unit of electrical power?"
Little Johnny asked, "The what?"
His teacher was very pleased, saying, "That's absolutely correct-- the watt. Now, class, you should all take the time to study as diligently as Little Johnny does."