Loaf Jokes / Recent Jokes

A general store owner hires a young female clerk who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties.

One day a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the length of her skirt (or general lack thereof) and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea.

"I'd like some raisin bread please", the man says politely. The female clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, which is located on the very top shelf. The young man standing almost directly beneath her is provided with an excellent view, just as he surmised he would.
Once she descends the ladder he muses that he really should get two loaves as he is having company for dinner.

As the clerk retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices what was going on. Thinking quickly, he requests his own loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With more...

One evening, a newlywed called her mother in tears. "Oh, Mom, I tried to make Grandma's meat loaf for dinner tonight and it was horrible. I followed the recipe exactly, and I know I have the recipe right because it's the one you gave me. But it just didn't come out right, and I'm so upset. I wanted this to be so special for Tommy because he loves meat loaf. What could have gone wrong?"
Her mother replied soothingly, "Well, dear, let's go through the recipe. You read it out loud and tell me exactly what you did at each step, and together we'll figure it out."
"OK," the bride sniffled. "Well, it starts out, 'Take fifty cents worth of ground beef'... "

Little Johnny was on his way back home from the store with a loaf of bread in one hand, and his other hand in his pants
pocket. Off in the distance, Father Joseph sees little Johnny and realizes this is the perfect opportunity to go preach the gospel of the Holy Bible to the young boy. Father Joseph approaches little Johnny and says, "I see that you have the "Staff of Life" in one hand." "Yep," replies little Johnny. "And I have a loaf of bread in the other!"

Q: What do you call a loaf of bread that was shoved a girl with yest infection?
A: Sour dough

A general store owner hires a young female clerk who likes to wear very short skirts and thong panties.
One day a young man enters the store, glances at the clerk and glances at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the length of her skirt [or general lack thereof] and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea."
I'd like some raisin bread please", the man says politely. The female clerk nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, which is located on the very top shelf. The young man standing almost directly beneath her is provided with an excellent view, just as he surmised he would be.
Once she descends the ladder he muses that he really should get two loaves as he's having company for dinner. As the clerk retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices what's going on.
Thinking quickly, he requests his own loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With each trip up the ladder more...

Returning home from the store swinging a loaf of bread in one hand, and his other hand in his pant pocket, Little Johnny met up with a priest.
The priest thought to himself, "This might be the perfect opportunity to say something from the Bible to Little Johnny."
"Hello, Little Johnny," the priest said. "I see you have the staff of life in one hand. What do you have in the other?"
"A loaf of bread, Father," replied Johnny.

One day a new pastor moved to a small town. He wanted to impress his congregation and make them believe he could perform miracles. So he went into an animal store where he bought a parrot. He taught the parrot to speak and to perform some tricks. He decided to perform a miracle for his sermon the following Sunday. On Saturday night, he bought two loaves of bread and gave them to the parrot. He told the parrot to go onto the roof of the church, and during service the next morning when he says, "God, send down bread!", the parrot must send down into the church one loaf at a time.
During service the next morning, the pastor cried out to his congregation, "I can perform miracles! I can make bread come down from Heaven! God, send down bread!"
And a loaf of bread fell from Heaven. The congregation was in awe of the pastor. They could not believe that he could perform miracles. They said, "do it again!"
The pastor cried out again, "God, send more...