Lodging Jokes / Recent Jokes

Well-known lodging chain announced it was creating a line of nofrills hotels. The only way you'll see a chocolate on the pillow now is if the last guest was eating an M&M.

Due to the current financial situation, changes will be made to the Business Travel Standards and Procedures Manual. Effective Monday, the following revised procedures apply:

Lodging

All employees are encouraged to stay with relatives and friends while on business travel. If weather permits, public areas such as parks should be used as temporary lodging sites. Bus terminals, train stations, and office lobbies may provide shelter in periods of inclement weather.

Transportation

Hitchhiking is the preferred mode of travel in lieu of commercial transport. Luminescent safety vests will be issued to all employees prior to their departure on business trips. Bus transportation will be used only when work schedules require such travel. Airline tickets will be authorized in extreme circumstances and the lowest fares will be used. For example, if a meeting is scheduled in Seattle, but the lower fare can be obtained by traveling to Detroit, then travel more...

Due to the current financial status of the company, all employees are encouraged to adopt the following cost cutting measures.
LODGING - All employees are encouraged to stay with relatives and friends while on business travel. If weather permits, public areas such as parks should be used as temporary lodging sites. Bus terminals, train stations, and office lobbies may provide shelter in periods of inclement weather.
TRANSPORTATION - Hitchhiking is the preferred mode of travel in lieu of commercial transport. Luminescent safety vests will be issued to all employees prior to their departure on business trips. Bus transportation will be used only when work schedules require such travel. Airline tickets will be authorized in extreme circumstances and the lowest fares will be used. For example, if a meeting is scheduled in Seattle, but the lower fare can be obtained by traveling to Detroit, then travel to Detroit will be substituted for travel to Seattle.
MEALS - more...

New Corporate Cost-Cutting Policy Due to the current financial situation, changes will be made to the Business Travel standards and Procedures Manual. Effective Monday the following revised procedures apply:

Lodging All employees are encouraged to stay with relatives and friends while on business travel. If weather permits, public areas such as parks should be used as temporary lodging sites. Bus terminals, train stations, and office lobbies may provide shelter in periods of inclement weather.

Transportation Hitchhiking is the preferred mode of travel in lieu of commercial transport. Luminescent safety vests will be issued to all employees prior to their departure on business trips. Bus transportation will be used only when work schedules require such travel. Airline tickets will be authorized in extreme circumstances and the lowest fares will be used. For example, if a meeting is scheduled in Seattle, but the lower fare can be obtained by traveling to Detroit, more...

Due to budget constraints, the following corporate policies are announced
regarding employees traveling on official business. These policies are effective
immediately.
TRANSPORTATION
Hitch-hiking in lieu of commercial transportation is strictly encouraged.
Luminescent safety vests will be issued to all employees prior to their
departure on company business trips. Should hitch-hiking prove fruitless, bus
travel may be utilized if absolutely necessary. Airline tickets will be
authorized for purchase only under extreme circumstances, and the lowest fares
will be used. If, for example, a meeting is scheduled in Seattle but a lower
fare can be obtained by traveling to Detroit, then travel to Detroit will be
substituted for travel to Seattle.
Car rental fees are going up all the time, and are to be avoided. As a
substitute for these charges, we recommend car-sharing. Simply turn your issued
luminescent safety vest inside more...