Longtime Jokes

Claire and Marg, two longtime friends, are having lunch when Claire says, "I hear you've been telling people that you think I'm ugly!"
"Goodness, no!" Marg replies. "I've just been telling people that you look less attractive with your new hairdo."
"I also hear that you've been saying I'm fat!" Claire says.
"Oh, no!" replies Marg. "I said that when you wear those stripes, they make you look larger than you actually are."
"I also hear that you're saying my husband has a wart on his penis!" Claire exclaims.
"Oh, no!" says Marg, rolling her eyes. "I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his penis!"

Longtime impersonator Frank Caliendo blows brains out.