Lou Jokes / Recent Jokes

Hal E. Luya (Hallelujah)
Hal Jalikakick (How'd ya like a kick)
Hammond Eggs (Ham and Eggs)
Hank E. Panky (Hanky Panky)
Harmon Ikka (Harmonica)
Harris Mint (Harassment)
Harrison Fire (Hair is on Fire)
Harry Balzac (Hairy Ball Sack)
Harry Weiner (Hairy Wiener)
Hayden Seek (Hide & Seek)
Haywood Jablowme (Hey, Would You Blow Me?)
Haywood Jashootmee (Hey Would You Shoot Me?)
Hein Noon (High Noon)
Helen Back (Hell and Back)
Helena Hanbaskett (Hell In A Hand Basket)
Henador Titzhoff (He Gnawed Her Tits Off)
Herbie Hind (Her Behind)
Herb E. Side (Herbiside)
Herbie Voor (Herbivore)
Holden Mcgroin (Holding My Groin)
Holly Dayin (Holiday Inn)
Holly Wood (Hollywood)
Homan Provement (Home Improvent)
Homer Sexual (Homosexual)
Howard I. No (How Would I Know?)
Howe D. Pardner (Howdy Partner)
Hu Flung Pu (Who Flung Poo?)
Huang Annsaw (Wrong Answer)
Hugh Beeotch more...

Costello: Hey, Abbott! Abbot: Yes, Lou? Costello: I just got my first computer. Abbot: That's great Lou. What did you get? Costello: A Pentium II-266, with 40 Megs of RAM, a 2. 1 Gig hard drive, and a 24X CD-ROM. Abbot: That's terrific, Lou. Costello: But I don't know what any of it means!! Abbot: You will in time. Costello: That's exactly why I am here to see you. Abbot: Oh? Costello: I heard that you are a real computer expert. Abbot: Well, I don't know- Costello: Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff. And you're going to train me. Abbot: Really? Costello: Uh huh. And I am here for my first lesson. Abbot: O. K. Lou. What do want to know? Costello: I am having no problem turning it on, but I heard that you should be very careful how you turn it off. Abbot: That's true. Costello: So, here I am working on my new computer and I want to turn it off. What do I do? Abbot: Well, first you press the Start button, and then- Costello: No, I told you, I want to turn it off. Abbot: I know, you press more...

Mary Lou was walking home from her first day of school wih her brand new dress on. Suddenly, some boys stopped her and told her, "We'll give you these balloons if you climb that tree!"

Mary Lou decided she'd try, so she climbed the tree, cme back down, took the balloons, and went home. She old her mommy what had happened, and her mommy said, "Oh dear! All those boys wanted was to see your underwear!"

Mary Lou answered, "Don't worry mommy, I wasn't wearing any."

Billy-Bob was walking into town one day wearing nothing but his gun and his boots. Just as he began walking down Main Street he was confronted by the Sheriff.' 'Hey, Billy-Bob, ya mind if I ask you what you are doin' walkin' down Main Street wearin' nothin' but your gunbelt and boots?''

''Well Sheriff,it's a long story.''

''I ain't going nowhere,'' said the Sheriff.

''Well Sheriff, a couple hours ago I ran into Mary Lou in the saloon. We had ourselves a couple of drinks and then we started to feelin' kinda frisky and Mary Lou said,' Why don't we go out to the barn?' So we did. Then we started getting real close and cuddin' and smoochin' and Mary Lou said,' Why don't we go out back and go up to the top of the hill.' So we did. He continued,' 'We started cuddlin' and smoochin' some more and the next thing I know, Mary Lou had taken off all her clothes and she suggested that I do the same. So I did, all except my gunbelt and boots. Then Mary Lou laid down more...

ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEETS WINDOWS95 Costello: Hey, Abbott! Abbot: Yes, Lou? Costello: I just got my first computer. Abbot: That's great Lou. What did you get? Costello: A Pentium II-266, with 40 Megs of RAM, a 2. 1 Gig hard drive, and a 24X CD-ROM. Abbot: That's terrific, Lou. Costello: But I don't know what any of it means!! Abbot: You will in time. Costello: That's exactly why I am here to see you. Abbot: Oh? Costello: I heard that you are a real computer expert. Abbot: Well, I don't know- Costello: Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff. And you're going to train me. Abbot: Really? Costello: Uh huh. And I am here for my first lesson. Abbot: O. K. Lou. What do you want to know? Costello: I am having no problem turning it on, but I heard that you should be very careful how you turn it off. Abbot: That's true. Costello: So, here I am working on my new computer and I want to turn it off. What do I do? Abbot: Well, first you press the Start button, and then- Costello: No, I told you, I want to more...