Louie Jokes

24. You actually like marching band and would kill to do it all year long.
23. The drummers start making sense to you.
22. You have to stay in step with people around you while walking.
21. You direct the songs on the radio.
20. Playing "stare down" with the drum major is no fun anymore.
19. You wonder what life would be like if you weren`t in band.
18. You roll step while you walk to class.
17. You practice your marching music on a daily basis.
16. You think Louie Louie is the best song ever written.
15. You major in music and usse your high school band director as a role model.
14. Those stupid "band humor" jokes are the funniest things you ever heard.
13. You pick out instruments from the music in cartoons.
12. You start screaming "LEFT! LEFT! LEFT!" to people that walk in front of you on the way to class.
11. Drummers start making sense to you.
10. You`ve dated everyone in the band more...

Bill walked into his favorite dive bar, took his regular stool, looked around, and asked Louie, the bartender, "Where's Beverly, the waitress?"
"She's dead," replied the bartender.
"Dead?" asked Bill.
"She died from herpes," said the bartender.
Bill replied, "You don't die from herpes."
"You do if you give it to Big Louie!" said the bartender.

A woman gives birth to twins, a girl and a boy. Her husband isn't there, and she doesn't want to name them without him seeing them first. But the hospital insists that the babies must be named by the end of the day. Crazy Uncle Louie overhears this and he names them (unbeknownst to the couple). Later the husband arrives, and the happy couple are set to name the babies when a nurse informs them that Uncle Louie already took care of that. "Oh no!" they cry. "He's crazy and doesn't know what he's doing. What names did he pick?" The nurse says, "Well, he named the girl Deniece." "Whew, not bad. In fact, that's nice. And how about the boy?" "Denephew."

Big Louie the Torpedo was becoming increasingly curious about one of the newer members of his mob, Benny the Rod. Benny had been in the business for many years in another part of the country. During that time he had garnered quite a reputation for being the most conscientious and honorable hit man available. He was also considered quite eccentric, perhaps odd, in that for the last ten years or so he always kept one hand in his pocket - clutching his cold steel weapon in readiness (hence the nickname, Benny the Rod).
When Benny arrived at Louie's office, the question was put to him.
"So what's the story with you and this here gun of yours, eh? Like, are you scared or somethin' or you just want to always be ready or what?"
"Not scared..." Benny growled, "been doin' it dis way ever since me sister-in-law's weddin' 'bout ten ten years ago now".
"Oh yeah?... so...?"
"Well, I used ta know her fiance at da time - a no good more...

Big Louie the Torpedo was becoming increasingly curious about one of the newer members of his mob, Benny the Rod. Benny had been in the business for many years in another part of the country. During that time he had garnered quite a reputation for being the most conscientious and honorable hit man available. He was also considered quite eccentric, perhaps odd, in that for the last ten years or so he always kept one hand in his pocket - clutching his cold steel weapon in readiness (hence the nickname, Benny the Rod). When Benny arrived at Louie's office, the question was put to him."So what's the story with you and this here gun of yours, eh? Like, are you scared or somethin' or you just want to always be ready or what?""Not scared..." Benny growled, "been doin' it dis way ever since me sister-in-law's weddin' 'bout ten ten years ago now"."Oh yeah?... so...?""Well, I used ta know her fiance at da time - a no good chisler. He never even loved more...