Love-making Jokes

When to Propose... Or Not
Men who can answer "yes" to five or more of these questions should consider carefully before proposing marriage.

* In the kitchen, has she ever referred to an oven as "that square thing?"

* Does she use the phrase "you know" more than twice per sentence?

* Is she making monthly payments of more than $300 to a plastic surgeon.

* Have you noticed her name tattoed on three or more local bikers?

* Have you noticed three or more local bikers' names tattooed on her?

* Does she regularly compare your love-making talents to an old boyfriend's?

* Does she regularly compare your love-making talents to the Green Bay Packers?

* Does she have a wholesale source for Deodorant-in-a-Drum?

* Has she ever used the word poo-poo?

* If forced to use it at all, does she choose to spell the word sex?

* Does her resume include a more...

My best friend married a doctor several years ago. After being married for about three years, my friend's husband said to his wife, "You need to do something to spice up our love-making."
Shortly thereafter, he came home and found his wife in bed with another man who also happened to be a doctor.
"But, why?" asked her hubby.
"You said that I needed to do something to spice up our love-making," she replied. "I just wanted to get a second opinion."

After their love-making session the young bride asks her husband "Wasmaking love to me really the same as making love to Marilyn Monroe?" "Yes, she's dead to!""Was making love to me really the same as makinglove to Marilyn Monroe?" "Yes, she's dead to!"

My friend married a doctor. At a certain point he told her: "You need to do something to spice up our love-making". Shortly thereafter, he came home and found her in bed with another man who is also an M. D. "Why?" asked her hubby. "You said I needed to do something to spice up our love-making; I just wanted to get a Second Opinion", she told him.

A Frenchman, an Italian and an American were discussing love-making.
"Last night I made love to my wife three times" boasted the Frenchman. "She was in sheer ecstasy this morning..."
"Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian responded, "and this morning she made me a wonderful omelette and told me she could never love another man."
When the American remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?"
"Once." he replied.
"Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she say to you this morning?"
"Don't stop."