Lovers Jokes / Recent Jokes
Why do bankers make great lovers? They know the penalty for early withdrawal.
While chatting at the beach, the lovers spoke to each other:
Female: Oh! my dear, we are lovers for more than three years now. Have you not thought about our marriage? If I regret, will you feel bad?
Male: I will discuss this matter with my wife and let you know
tomorrow.
Female: without any shock or surprise, replied calmly] You are also married!
Male: "...."
Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he says, "Honey, my hands are freezing!" She says, "Well put them between my thighs and that will warm them up."
After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says again, "Man! My hands are really freezing!" She says again, "Well. put them between my thighs and warm them up again." He does, and again that warms him up.
After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop wood to get them through the night. When he returns to the cabin, he states once again, "Honey, my hands are really, really freezing." She looks at him and says, "For crying out loud, don't your ears ever get cold?"
Did you know that all great lovers have bad memories? . ..Or did I tell you that already?
GARNER THOMSON
The ARGUS Foreign Service (April 1994)
LONDON - Two journalist lovers knew they had a scoop when the Duke and Duchess of York sat down to have dinner at the next table. But tabloid demands being what they are, both knew the story was worthless without a photograph. Nic North sprinted to the home of his girlfriend's mother to borrow a camera.
Tracey Kandohla stayed at the restaurant. A breathless Nic returned with the camera and snapped a picture. The Yorks were annoyed, but, in spite of arguing with the couple, failed to get them to surrender the film.
It was only when they had left the restaurant that Nic and Tracey hit a snag. They worked for rival newspapers - Nic for the Daily Mirror, Tracey for The Sun - and they knew that neither paper would be interested if the photograph wasn't an exclusive.
Nic insisted it was his picture - he had fetched the camera and grabbed the shot. Tracey pointed out that it was her mother's camera and film. But Nic more...
The lovers passionately embraced on her bed, their bodies fused together as they gyrated to their own tattoo.
The woman cocked her ear, "Quick! My husband's coming through the front door! Hide in the bathroom!" she cried.
The lover ran into the bathroom as she hid his clothes under the bed and as she turned back, her husband came through the bedroom door.
"What are you doing lying on the bed naked?" he asked.
"Darling, I heard you coming up the drive and got ready to receive you." she replied with a knowing smile.
"Great," he said, "I'll just nip into the bathroom and I'll be with you in two shakes."
Before she could stop him, he was into the bathroom where he found a man clapping his hands together in mid-air.
"Who the devil are you!" the husband demanded.
"I'm from the exterminator company. Your wife called me in to get rid of these pesky moths," the lover more...