Luck Jokes / Recent Jokes

There are 3 guys on an airplane 2 chinese and 1 american. The 2 chinese guys throw a rock out the window and the american asks "Why in the world did you do that?" The two chinese guys say "For luck!" So the american throws a bomb out the window and the chinese guys asks "Why in the world did you do that?" and the american says "For Luck" So they land and get off the plane. Later the 2 chinese guys see 2 little girls on sidewalk crying and they ask "Why are you girls crying?" and they said "Cause a rock fall from the sky and hit us on the head." So the american gets off and walks and sees a little boy on the sidewalk laughing so hard that his face is blue and he ask "Why are you laughing?" The little boy says "My dad farted and the house blew up!!"

A guy is down on his luck. He takes his last $500 and goes to Las Vegas. Overnight, he has a fantastic run of luck. He stumbles out of the casino and finds a pay phone. He calls his wife and says, "Honey, pack your bags. I just won over a million dollars in Vegas." His wife say, "That's wonderful. What should I pack for...Europe, the Carribean?" He says, "I don't care, just be gone when I get home."

Luck is a lazy person's estimate of a worker's success.

Marty: Do you believe that you will get seven years of bad luck if you break a mirror?

Larry: Of course not. My uncle broke a mirror and he didn't have seven years of bad luck.

Marty: He didn't?

Larry: No, he was hit by a car that same day.

>>>***************************************************
>>> Honk if you love Jesus
>>>***************************************************
>>>
>>>
>>>The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I saw a
>>>HONK IF YOU LOVE
>>>JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on the back bumper of my
>>>car, and I'm really
>>>glad I did. What an uplifting experience followed!
>>>
>>>I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection, just lost in
thought
>>>about the Lord, and didn't
>>>notice that the light had changed. That bumper sticker really worked!
I
>>>found lots of people
>> >who love Jesus.
>>>
>>>Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must REALLY
love
>>>the Lord because
>>>pretty soon, he leaned out his window and yelled, "Jesus Christ!" as
>>>loud as he could. It was
>>>like a football game with him shouting, "GO more...

This appeared in the Langalist courtesy of Canadian "Gerry V"
Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.
Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.
It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.
The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.
When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.
A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.
Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them more...

While they were taking up the collection, John leaned forward and said, "Hey, Marie, how about you and me go to dinner next Friday?" "Why Yes, John, that would be nice," said Marie. Well, John couldn't believe his luck. All week long he polished up his car, and on Friday he picked up Marie and took her to dinner, the finest restaurant in Raleigh. When they sat down, John looked over at Marie said, "Hey, Marie, would you like a cocktail before dinner?" "Oh, no, John, "said Marie. "What would I tell my Sunday School class?" Well, John was setback a bit, so he didn't say much until after dinner. Then he reached in his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. "Hey, Marie," said John, "Would you like a smoke?" "Oh, no, John," said Marie. "What would I tell my Sunday School class?" Well, John was feeling pretty low after that, so he just got in his car and was driving Marie home when they passed the more...