Lump Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man with a womb  a rare medical phenomenon is being treated at the
Kandy General Hospital. The womb, complete with the fallopian tubes
and ovaries, was found in his stomach when he was operated on for
cancer.
The patient, in his early thirties, had been treated for a cancer for
the past one and a half months.' The various tests done had pointed to
a malignancy in the stomach. The treatment had reduced the lump in his
stomach, but it had grown later on. The scan showed a lump in his
stomach,' one doctor said.
'There was no physical abnormality. He was a normal male. He had no
sign of femininity. He had a male organ but no testis. We believe the
testis are in the abdomen area. The testis were pasted to the womb,'
he said.
The patient had been married for around eight years but has no
children.

A gynaecologist, commenting on this rare medical phenomenon said' One
person can develop both organs, more...

there was a carpender putting down carrpot for a lady and he steped outside to smoke to find his sigorets were mising so he went back in and saw a lump under the carpot then he thought to himself theres no sense to pull out the carpt for 1 pack of cigorets so he got out his hammer and started to hamer the lump then the lady came out of the hall and said "I found your cigorets in the hall now only if i can find my parrot"

Most of you have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys were
stolen while he was passed out. While that was an "urban legend," this one
is not. It's happening every day. I'm sending this "warning" only to a few
of my closest friends.
My thighs were stolen from me during the night of August 3rd a few years
ago. It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with
someone else's thighs. The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Who
would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been wholly, if
imperfectly, mine for years? Whose thighs were these? What happened to
mine? I spent the entire summer looking for them. I searched, in vain, at
pools and beaches, anywhere I might find female limbs exposed. I became
obsessed. I had nightmares filled with cellulite and flesh that turns to
bumps in the night. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living
out my life in jeans and more...

After a blind date a fellow said to his friend, "After I got home last night I felt a lump in my throat."

"You really like her, huh?"

"No, she's a karate expert."

There'a a story going the rounds that involves a carpet layer who had worked all day installing wall-to-wall carpeting. When he noticed a lump under the carpet in the middle of the living room, he felt his shirt pocket for his cigarettes - they were gone. He was not about to take up the carpet, so he went outside for a two-by-four. Stamping down cigarettes with it would be easy. Once the lump was smoothed, the man gathered up his tools and carried them to the truck. Then two things happened simultaneously. He saw his cigarettes on the seat of the truck, and over his shoulder he heard the voice of the woman to whom the carpet belonged. "Have you seen anything of my parakeet?" she asked plaintively.