Lunatic Jokes

A policeman was sitting on the hard shoulder watching the traffic go by when a car zoomed past him doing at least 120 mph!
The policeman chased him down, and pulled the car over. He went up to the car and asked, "Do you know that you were doing at least 50 mph over the speed limit?"
The driver replied, "Was I officer, I'm terribly sorry but I wasn't aware of that."
The policeman said, "May I see your drivers license please?"
The man replied, "I don't have one officer."
"Of course you do," said the policeman.
"No sir, I don't," said the man.
"So why do you have this car?" asked the policeman.
"This is not my car, I stole it," said the man.
"You are driving a stolen car?" said the policeman.
"Yes I'm afraid so sir,"
Looking puzzled the policeman said, "Let me see the registration, so we can find out who it belongs to."
The man more...

The head doctors in a lunatic asylum have a meeting and decide that one of their patients is potentially well. So they decide to test him and take him to the movies.

When they get to the movie theater, there are `wet paint` signs pointing to the benches. The doctors just sit down but the patient puts a newspaper down first and then sits down.

The doctors get all excited because they think he may be in touch with reality now. So they ask him: "Why did you put the newspaper down first?"

He answers: "So I`d be higher and have a better view."a

A Haryanavi youth spied a pretty girl at the bus stand. Since no one was around, he tried to use a tone of familiarity, "Jaan-e-man - my heart's desire," he addressed her, "aisee laagey sai, aap ko pehley kahin dekha sai."

"Jaroor deykha sai - you must have seen me," replied the lady, "I am a nurse at the lunatic asylum."

Lunatic Asylum: The place where optimism most flourishes.

Luna Tick (Lunatic)