Lunatic Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Haryanavi youth spied a pretty girl at the bus stand. Since no one was around, he tried to use a tone of familiarity, "Jaan-e-man - my heart's desire," he addressed her, "aisee laagey sai, aap ko pehley kahin dekha sai."

"Jaroor deykha sai - you must have seen me," replied the lady, "I am a nurse at the lunatic asylum."

A man is strolling past a lunatic asylum when he hears a loud chanting. "thirteen thirteen thirteen!" goes the noise from the mental hospital wards. The mans curiosity gets the better of him, and he searches for a hole in the security fence. Its not long before he finds a small crack, so he leans forward and peers in. Instantly, someone jabs him in the eye. As he reels back in agony, the chanting continues "fourteen fourteen fourteen!"

A policeman was sitting on the hard shoulder watching the traffic go by when a car zoomed past him doing at least 120 mph!

The policeman chased him down, and pulled the car over. He went up to the car and asked, "Do you know that you were doing at least 50 mph over the speed limit?"

The driver replied, "Was I officer, I''m terribly sorry but I wasn''t aware of that."

The policeman said, "May I see your drivers license please?"

The man replied, "I don''t have one officer."

"Of course you do," said the policeman.

"No sir, I don''t," said the man.

"So why do you have this car?" asked the policeman.

"This is not my car, I stole it," said the man.

"You are driving a stolen car?" said the policeman.

"Yes I''m afraid so sir,"

Looking puzzled the policeman said, "Let me more...