Magazine Jokes / Recent Jokes
USA Today: WE'RE DEAD
The Wall Street Journal: DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS
National Enquirer: O. J. AND NICOLE, TOGETHER AGAIN
Playboy: GIRLS OF THE APOCALYPSE
Microsoft Systems Journal: APPLE LOSES MARKET SHARE
Victoria's Secret Catalog: OUR FINAL SALE
Sports Illustrated: GAME OVER
Wired: THE LAST NEW THING
Rolling Stone: THE GRATEFUL DEAD REUNION TOUR
Readers Digest:' BYE
Discover Magazine: HOW WILL THE EXTINCTION OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT AFFECT THE WAY WE VIEW THE COSMOS?
TV Guide: DEATH AND DAMNATION: NIELSON RATINGS SOAR!
Lady's Home Journal: LOSE 10 LBS BY JUDGEMENT DAY WITH OUR NEW "ARMAGEDDON" DIET!
America Online: SYSTEM TEMPORARILY DOWN. TRY CALLING BACK IN 15 MINUTES.
Inc. magazine: TEN WAYS YOU CAN PROFIT FROM THE APOCALYPSE
One morning Bobby's mother was cleaning his room, and she found an S&M magazine under the bed. She was beside herself worrying and stressing trying to think of how to handle the situation.
Finally her husband came home from work and he asked her how her day was. The mother told him about the magazine. Shaking, she asked him how they were going handle this situation.
Her husband sat there for awhile, sighed, and said, "Well, I guess spanking him is out of the question."
The 2008 Presidential Election is right around the corner and Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton has gained support from Playboy magazine founder Hugh Hefner.
Political experts believe this is payback for all the support Bill Clinton has given Playboy magazine and Hefner over the years.
A photographer from a well know national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at Yellowstone
National Park. The magazine wanted to show some of the heroic work of the fire fighters as they
battled the blaze.
When the photographer arrived, he realized that the smoke was so thick that it would seriously impede
or make it impossible for him to photograph anything from ground level. He requested permission to
rent a plane and take photos from the air. His request was approved and arrangements were made. He
was told to report to a nearby airport where a plane would be waiting for him.
He arrived at the airport and saw a plane warming up near the gate. He jumped in with his bag and
shouted, "Let's go!'' The pilot swung the little plane into the wind, and within minutes they were in
the air.
The photographer said, "Fly over the park and make two or three low passes so I can take some
pictures."
"Why?" more...
A cop was patrolling at night in a well-known spot for "parking." He saw a couple in a car with the interior light on. He got closer to the car and saw a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine, and a young woman on the rear seat, knitting.
Puzzled by this situation, the cop walked to the car and knocked on the window.
The young man lowered his window... "Yes, officer?"
"What are you doing?"
"Well, isn't it obvious? I'm reading a magazine."
Pointing toward the young woman, the cop asked, "And her, what is she doing?"
The young man shrugged. "I believe she's knitting a pullover."
The cop was totally confused. A young couple alone in a car at night... and nothing obscene is happening!
"What's your age, young man?"
"I'm 22, sir."
"And her, what's her age?"
The more...
1970: Long Hair
2000: Longing for hair
1970: The perfect high.
2000: The perfect high yield mutual fund.
1970: Keg.
2000: EKG.
1970: Acid Rock.
2000: Acid Reflux.
1970: Moving to California because it's cool.
2000: Moving to California because it's warm.
1970: Growing pot.
2000: Growing pot belly.
1970: Douglas Street bridge.
2000: Dental bridge.
1970: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your parents.
2000: Watching John Glenn's historic flight with your children.
1970: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.
2000: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Elizabeth Taylor.
1970: Seeds and stems.
2000: Roughage.
1970: Popping pills, smoking joints.
2000: Popping joints.
1970: Our president's struggle with Fidel.
2000: Our president's struggle with fidelity.
1970: more...
Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. "Listen to this," she said. "Theres a classified ad here where aguy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium." "Hmmm," her husband said, not looking up from his magazine. Teasing him, Sarah said, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?" "Absolutely not," he said. "How sweet," Sarah said. "Tell me why not." "Seasons more than half over," he said.