Magic Jokes / Recent Jokes
A young man walks in on a bar and he ordered a beer. After a while, he notices there's a beer keg with a small hole says "Magic Beer Keg, insert 50 cents for pleasure." The young man asks the bertender what so magical with that beer keg.
He told the young men to insert 50 cents in the small hole and then insert his penis in it. He does as the bartender says and all of the sudden he feels someone is sucking his penis from inside the beer keg.
After he finishes his "pleasure", the young man compliments about it and the bartender asks if he wants to be the beer keg member so that he can do pleasure for free. The young man says "OK" and the bartender says "OK, tomorrow you got the shift inside that beer keg."
There was a English, Scottish and Irish man and they took a trip down to the park for a wee slide.
Then the English man saw a sign saying: "Magic Slide Take Care Use With Care."
So the English man went first and he went down and said "GOLD" so he landed in a puddle of gold.
Then the Scottish man down and he said "SILVER" and he landed in a puddle of silver.
Then the Irish man went down and he said "WEE" and he landed in a puddle of wee.
Bob was joining the army and they were handing out rifles when he arrived, so he got in line. When it got to Bob, they had run out of guns. The man issuing rifles gave him a broom
''This is a magic broom - point it at anybody, say 'Bangity bangity bang,' and they will die.'' Bob was really worried because he didn't think it would work, but he got in line for bayonets, thinking he might stand a chance if he could stab them to death. As luck would have it, Bob's turn came and they had ran out.
''Don't worry.'' said the man issuing them out. ''I will give you this magic carrot - point it at somebody, say 'Stabbity stabbity stab,' and they will die." Now Bob is terrified, going into battle with a broom and carrot, when the sirens go off, signaling invasion. Bob goes out, only to be laughed at by the enemy. One enemy even comes up to him, hoping to get a good shot at him. Well, Bob didn't have anything to lose so he pointed at him and said ''Bangity bangity bang!'' and the guy more...
One afternoon, there was this good witch who was flying along, when all of a sudden, she heard this soft crying from down below. When she landed, she saw this yellow frog. Touched by his sadness, the witch asked why he was crying. "Sniff. None of the other frogs will let me join in all their frog games. Boo hoo." "Don't cry, little one.", replied the witch, and with a wave of her magic wand, the frog turned green. All happy now, the frog was checking himself over when he noticed that his penis was still yellow. He asked an embarrassed witch about this, and she told him that there were some things that she just couldn't do, but if he saw the wizard, he'd fix things up for him. So happily, the little green frog hippity-hopped along his merry way. Feeling quite pleased with herself, the witch once more took to the skies, and once again, she heard some crying, but this time of a thunderous sort. So down to the ground she flew only to discover a pink elephant. The witch more...
This little girl walks over to her grandmother and asks "Granny, can you show me a magic trick?" "No dear, but I think your grand father knows one." So the little girl walks over to her grandpa and asks "Grandpa, granny says you know some magic tricks, could you show me one?" The grand father looks at her, "Sure, just hop on my lap!" So the little girl jumps on his lap. "Now, can you feel a finger poking up your ass?" asks the grandpa, "Yeah" replies the girl "Well look, no hands!"
A blonde and a redhead were on an airplane when the engine blew and they were heading into a crash. Looking around inside the plane, they could only find one parachute and a flashlight.
The redhead quickly grabbed the parachute and the flashlight and said to the blonde, "Ok, this is a magic flashlight. I'll shine it on the ground and you can slide down the beam of light. Then, I'll follow you with the parachute."
The blonde looked at her skeptically and said, "Do you really think I'm that dumb? I know that as soon as I'm halfway down, you're going to turn it off!"