"Brooms & Carrotsticks" joke

Bob was joining the army and they were handing out rifles when he arrived, so he got in line. When it got to Bob, they had run out of guns. The man issuing rifles gave him a broom
''This is a magic broom - point it at anybody, say 'Bangity bangity bang,' and they will die.'' Bob was really worried because he didn't think it would work, but he got in line for bayonets, thinking he might stand a chance if he could stab them to death. As luck would have it, Bob's turn came and they had ran out.
''Don't worry.'' said the man issuing them out. ''I will give you this magic carrot - point it at somebody, say 'Stabbity stabbity stab,' and they will die." Now Bob is terrified, going into battle with a broom and carrot, when the sirens go off, signaling invasion. Bob goes out, only to be laughed at by the enemy. One enemy even comes up to him, hoping to get a good shot at him. Well, Bob didn't have anything to lose so he pointed at him and said ''Bangity bangity bang!'' and the guy fell down dead. He did the same thing with the magic carrot. Amazed at what was happening, he continued to fight. Then, a guy came slowly up to him and he would not die. Bob tried to shoot and stab him, but he wouldn't die. The last words poor Bob heard as he was being trampled over were ''Tankity tankity tank.''

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
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A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because,' It's a lot of money!'

After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her more...

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A little boy goes up to his father and asks: "Dad, what's the difference between hypothetical and reality?"
The father replies: "Well son, I could give you the book definitions, but I feel it could be best to show you by example. Go upstairs and ask your more...

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