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2 Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift.
He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20, 000 bowling balls but will take a look at the bike for them. He tries everything he knows but is unable to repair it. Time is getting on now and he's late for his delivery so he tells the scousers he has to leave.
"R hey lad" they say "gissa lift". The trucker once again explains that he has no room as he is carrying 20, 000 bowling balls. The scousers put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back will he take them and he agrees.
They manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the wagon so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way. By this time he is really late and so puts his foot down. Sure enough PC Plod of Greater Manchester more...
Putt's Law: Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage. Those who manage what they do not understand.
Peter’s Principle: In every hierarchy, each employee tends to rise to the level of his incompetence. Pudder’s Law: Anything that begins well will end badly. (Note: The converse of Pudder’s law is not true.) Putt’s Law: Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage. Those who manage what they do not understand. Putts-Brooks Law: Adding manpower to a late technology project only makes it later. Quigley’s Law: Whoever has any authority over you, no matter how small, will attempt to use it. Ralph’s Observation: It is a mistake to let any mechanical object realise that you are in a hurry. Corollary: On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first strike your toes. Reisner’s Rule of Conceptual Inertia: If you think big enough, you’ll never have to do it.
Two drunks, Santa and Banta, enter a hotel late at night. They approach the clerk, and Santa says, "Could you pleash give ush a bed with two rooms?"
"You mean a room with two beds?" asks the clerk.
"Whatever, whatever you shay."
So they get a key and somehow manage to stumble upstairs to their room. After fumbling for ten minutes, they even manage to get their door open. As they stumble inside, the door closes behind them and they are in total darkness. They go forward slowly, and both fall on the bed closest to the door.
"Ahh," says Santa, "Now we can get some sleep at last."
As they try to rearrange themselves, they suddenly realize that they are not alone in their bed.
"Hey! There`s somebody in my bed!" says Banta.
"There`s somebody in my bed too!" says Santa.
"Let`s get rid of them. We paid for this room and we`re going to sleep in the beds!" says more...
Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the book or even what book.