Marine Jokes / Recent Jokes
A Marine stationed in Afghanistan recently received a "Dear John" Letter from his girlfriend back home.
It read as follows:
Dear Ricky,
I can no longer continue our relationship.
The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us.
I'm sorry.
Please return the picture of me that I sent to you.
Love,
Becky
The Marine, with hurt feelings, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins etc.
In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies.
There were 57 photos in that envelope along with this note:
Dear Becky,
I'm so sorry, but I can't quite remember who the fuck you are.
Please take your picture from the pile, and send the more...
Father Murphy walked into a pub and said to the first Marine he met, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The Marine said, "I do Father." The priest said, "Leave this pub right now!" He then approached a second Marine. "Do you want to got to heaven?" "Certainly, Father," was the Marines reply. "Then leave this den of Satan!" said the priest. Father Murphy then walked up to an old SgtMaj and asked, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The SgtMaj replied: "No, I dont Father." The priest looked him right in the eye and said, "You mean to tell me that when you die you dont want to go to heaven?" The SgtMaj smiled, "Oh, when I die! Why... yes Father. Shit, I thought you were getting a working party together to go right now!"
Two Marines boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallas, headed for Houston. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before take-off, an Army soldier got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Marines. The Soldier kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Marine in the window seat said, "I think I'll get up and get a coke." "No problem," said the Soldier, "I'll get it for you." While he was gone, the Marine picked up the Soldier's shoe and spit in it. When the Soldier returned with the coke, the Marine in the middle seat said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too." Again, the Soldier obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the Marine picked up the soldier's other shoe and spit in it. The Soldier returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the rest of the short flight to Houston. As the plane was landing, the Soldier slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately more...
During the Vietnam war, a Lieutenant asked a Marine why he was falling back during a really fierce battle. "Didn't you hear me say that we're outnumbered 4 to 1? " The Marine replied, "I got my four Sir."
Three Marines were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.
The first Marine said "those are deer tracks."
The second Marine said "No, those are elk tracks."
The third Marine said "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks."
The Marines were still arguing when the train hit them.
Q. What do you call a Marine with an IQ of 160? A. Platoon