Marked Jokes / Recent Jokes

Bill Clinton dies and goes to hell. Satan is giving him a VIP tour, showing him his options for spending eternity.They come to a room marked "Hitler." Inside is Eva Braun, torturing Adolf Hitler with red-hot irons. Every time Hitler tries to escape, Eva applies another iron. "I can't spend eternity like that," says Clinton. "Show me something else." Satan takes him to another room marked "Jack the Ripper."Inside are three mutilated prostitutes, stretching Jack on the rack.Every time Jack screams, the whores turn the wheel a little more. "I can't spend eternity like that, either," says Clinton. "Show me something better." Satan takes Bill to the last door.Inside, Kenneth Starr is being held up to the wall with chains around his wrists. At his groin is Monica Lewinsky giving him oral sex. Bill smiles. "Yes!" he shouts, "that's for me." Satan smirks and says "Good choice, Mr. President."He looks more...

The road to success is marked with many tempting parking places.

A man went to a psychiatrist to seek some help for depression. As he entered the reception room he noticed two doors marked "Men" and "Women". He went through the door marked "Men.

He then encountered two other doors marked "Extrovert" and "Introvert". He decided that he was an introvert and opened that door. He found himself in a room with two more doors marked "Those Making $40,000 and Over" and "Those Making Less than $40,000."

He knew that he made less than $40,000, so he opened that door. He found himself outside the building.

A man has a car wreck and they have to amputate his brain.
So the nurse takes him to the brain transplant wearhouse.
On one side of the shelves are lined with brains marked $500.00 each.
On the other side the shelves are lined with brains marked $200.00 each.
The brainless man asks why the price differece.
The nurse points to the $200.00 brains and explains that these are female brains, so they've been used.

A man has a car wreck and they have to amputate his brain.So the nurse takes him to the brain transplant wearhouse.On one side of the shelves are lined with brains marked $500.00 each. On the other side the shelves are lined with brains marked $200.00 each.The brainless man asks why the price differece.The nurse points to the $200.00 brains and explains that these are female brains, so they've been used.