Marked Jokes / Recent Jokes

Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!

Yo mama so dark she spits chocolate milk!

Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent.

Yo mama so dark that she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.

Yo mama so dark she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers.

My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.

The Unofficial Manual for Graduate Teaching Assistants Teaching Introductory Computer Science Courses for Non-majors LATE HOMEWORK When a student turns in his/her project two weeks late and asks for full credit, accept the late work and tell them that it will be awarded full credit. However, do inform them that you will not have time to grade it until after you complete your Ph. D. DISRUPTIVE STUDENTS 1. If students will not stop talking when the class period begins, announce that there will be a quiz the following day on today's lecture. Then leave. 2. If your students are prone to reading the school paper in class, try taking out a full page ad in the paper informing them that they are going to flunk your class. LECTURES 1. In the event that you are unprepared for a lecture, be sure to use the class time to stress to the class the importance of keeping up with the readings. In fact, spend most of the class time stressing this. 2. When the time comes to lecture on a subject you know more...

Standing at the pearly gates of heaven, Albert noticed pointing to two paths. One was marked "Women" and the other marked "Men". He took the path assigned to men and then came upon two more gates. The right-hand gate had a sign that read "Men Who Were Dominated By Their Spouses"; the other gate read "Men Who Were Boss And Dominated Their Spouses". The first gate had an endless line of guys waiting, but only one little guy stood before the male domination gate. Albert was undecided, so he walked up to the little guy standing all alone and asked, "Why are you standing at this gate, a little punk like you?" The smallish fellow replied, "I haven't a clue. My wife told me to stand here."

Two young men decided to make a bet as to which one of them could make love more times in one night. They agreed that sunrise would be the end of the contest and each went to their respective motel rooms.
The more boastful of the two.....went right to it and made love to his date... leaned over and marked a "l" on the wall.... Feeling sprightly, he went again... and once again at the completion of the act. .marked another "l" on the wall - next to the first. Figuring he had the bet in the bag.. he decided to relax a bit and in relaxing....fell asleep. Awakened by the sun's rays coming in the window... he quickly grab his lady and did it one more time...... and marked another "l" on the wall... Just at that time. .His friend enters...and upon seeing the marks on the wall exclaims:
"DAMN- a hundred and eleven... beat me by three...."

A man traveling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom. Each time
he tried the restroom, it was occupied. A kind stewardess, aware of
his predicament, suggested that he try the ladies room, but cautioned
him against pushing any of the buttons.
Making the fatal mistake that so many men make in disregarding what
a woman says, the man let curiosity get the best of him. He carefully
pressed the first button marked WW, and Warm Water sprayed him on his
bottom. He thought "The girls really have it made"... still curious, he
pressed the button marked WA, and Warm Air dried his bottom. He
thought "That's out of this world" and pressed the button marked PP. A
large Powder Puff powdered his bottom lightly. Naturally, he couldn't
resist pushing the last button which was marked ATR...
When he awoke in the hospital he panicked. "What happened? Where am
I?" he cried, "The last thing I remember was more...

At the gates to heaven a new arrival, George noted that there were two paths, one marked Women, and one marked Men. He took the later path and found that it lead to two gates.
The gate on the right had a sign that said: Men who were dominated by their Wives. The sign on the left read: Men who dominated their Wives. The right-hand gate had a long line of men waiting, but there was only one scrawny little fellow at the left-hand gate.
George, before deciding which gate to go to, went over to the scrawny man and asked,
"Why are you at this gate?" the little fellow replied, "I don`t know. My wife just told me
to stand here."