Market Jokes / Recent Jokes

Cracking an international market is a goal of most growing corporations. It shouldn`t be that hard, yet even the big multi-nationals run into trouble because of language and cultural differences. For example, observe the following examples below.
The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la. Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means "bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax" depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40, 000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic equivalent, "ko-kou-ko-le," which can be loosely translated as "happiness in the mouth."
In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead."
Also in Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin` good" came out as more...

I went to a market in a country in the deep dark Africa. There were some human brains for sale on a refrigerated shelf. The brains were from engineers, docters, businessmen, politicians etc. The cheapest was that of an engineer whereas the politicians brain was the most expesive! I was surprised and asked the reason from the salesman. He said that when they kill one engineer they get a large quantity of brain whereas they had to kill hundreds of politicians to find one ounce of brain, hence the high price!

Cracking an international market is a goal of most growing corporations. It shouldn’t be that hard, yet even the big multi-nationals run into trouble because of language and cultural differences. For example, observe the following examples below.

The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la.

Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means “bite the wax tadpole” or “female horse stuffed with wax” depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40, 000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic equivalent, “ko-kou-ko-le, ” which can be loosely translated as “happiness in the mouth. ”

In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan “Come alive with the Pepsi Generation” came out as “Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead. ”

Also in Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan “finger-lickin’ good” came out as more...

I WENT TO THE MARKET FOR MY MOMMA SHE WAS SICK BECAUSE YOUR MOM WAS SO FAT SHE THOUGHT IT WAS THE GREAT CANNON BUT REALLY JUST YOUR MOMMA, S BIG ASS STOMACH

While the US stock market is at an all time high, the ups and downs frighten a lot of small investors like me. I went to my financial adviser at the bank and ask if he were worried. He replied that he slept like a baby.
I was amazed and asked, "Really? Even with all the fluctuations?"
He said, "Yes. I sleep for a couple of hours, then wake up and cry for a couple of hours."

Helium was up, feathers were down.

Paper was stationary.

Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.

Knives were up sharply.

Cows steered into a bull market.

Pencils lost a few points.

Hiking equipment was trailing.

Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.

Weights were up in heavy trading.

Light switches were off.

Mining equipment hit rock bottom.

Diapers remained unchanged.

Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.

The market for raisins dried up.

Coca Cola fizzled.

Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.

Sun peaked at midday.

Balloon prices were inflated.

Scott Tissue touched a new bottom.

And batteries exploded in an attempt to recharge the market.

Cracking an international market is a goal of most growing corporations. It shouldn't be that hard, yet even the big multi-nationals run into trouble because of language and cultural differences. For example, observe the following examples below.The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la. Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means "bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax" depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic equivalent, "ko-kou-ko-le," which can be loosely translated as "happiness in the mouth."In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead."Also in Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin' good" came out as "eat your more...