Mars Jokes / Recent Jokes

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go and couldn? t return to Earth.The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. "A million dollars," he answered, "because I want to donate it to M.I.T."The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for $2 million. "I want to give a million to my family," he explained, "and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research."The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer? s ear, "Three million dollars.""Why so much more than the others?" asked the interviewer.The lawyer replied, "If you give me $3 million, I? ll give you $1 million, I? ll keep $1 million, and we? ll send the engineer to Mars."

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go and couldn't return to Earth.
The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. "A million dollars," he answered, "because I want to donate it to M.I.T."
The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for $2 million. "I want to give a million to my family," he explained, "and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research."
The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's ear, "Three million dollars."
"Why so much more than the others?" asked the interviewer.
The lawyer replied, "If you give me $3 million, I'll give you $1 million, I'll keep $1 million, and we'll send the engineer to Mars."

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go, and that person couldn't return to Earth. The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going.
"One million dollars," he answered, "because I want to donate it to M.I.T."
The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for two million dollars. "I want to give a million to my family and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research."
The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's ear, "Three million dollars."
"Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer asked.
The lawyer replied, "I'll give you $1 million, I'll keep $1 million, and we'll send the engineer."

It was a celebratory mood with the boys at NASA -- they had just made the scientific achievement of a lifetime. As they were uncorking a bottle of champagne, the head scientist at NASA asked everyone to be quiet as he was receiving a congratulatory phone call from the President of the United States.He picked up a special red phone, and spoke into it. "Mr. President," he said with a broad smile on his face, "After twelve years of hard research and billions of dollars spent, we have finally found intelligent life on Mars."He listened for a second, and his smile gradually disappeared, replaced by a frown. He said, "But that's impossible... we could never do it... yes, Mr. President," and hung up the phone.He addressed the crowd of scientists staring at him curiously. "I have some bad news," he said, "the President said that now that we've found intelligent life on Mars... he wants us to try to find it in the Congress."

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go, and that person couldn't return to Earth. The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going.
"One million dollars," he answered, "because I want to donate it to M. I. T."
The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for two million dollars. "I want to give a million to my family and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research."
The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's ear, "Three million dollars."
"Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer asked.
The lawyer replied, "I'll give you $1 million, I'll keep $1 million, and we'll send the engineer."

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go and couldn? t return to Earth.
The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. “A million dollars, ” he answered, “because I want to donate it to M. I. T. ”
The next applicant, a doctor, was asked the same question. He asked for $2 million. “I want to give a million to my family, ” he explained, “and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research. ”
The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer? s ear, “Three million dollars. ”
“Why so much more than the others? ” asked the interviewer.
The lawyer replied, “If you give me $3 million, I? ll give you $1 million, I? ll keep $1 million, and we? ll send the engineer to Mars. ”

BANDERSNATCH CHRISTMAS SHOPPING LIST

This year The Frumious Bandersnatch highlights some of the more
arcane or utterly worthless things you can give as a Christmas
gift.

PHOTO PANTIES
Have your picture silk screened onto your girlfriend's panties
for only $19. 95. You can imagine all the creative purposes this
can be put to.

YOU DON'T KNOW JACK II
The new edition of this game is designed for know-it-alls and
includes questions about subjects such as the difference between
Visigoths and Ostergoths that are sure to stump them.

FREE BAJA ARIZONA BUMPER STICKERS
We still have a supply of our non-waterproof bumper stickers that
melt away at the first drop of rain. Good for use only in
extremely arid regions.

WAX BULLETS
Perfect for shooting insects inside your house, our wax bullets
come in 22 and 38 caliber sizes.

LIVE TUMBLEWEEDS
Decorate your house in more...