Marxist Jokes

Upon Augusto Pinochet’s death earlier this month, Front Page Mag’s Jacob Laksin wrote:
Whatever else may be said of Pinochet, he was not in the same league [as the much less reviled “Uncle Joe” Stalin and Mao Zedung]...[Pinochet] not only prevented the country from plunging into anarchy and civil war but saved it from what was, by all the early warning signs, a far more menacing force in the form of Allende’s Marxist regime...Allende pledged to “destroy the bourgeois state” and impose “total, scientific Marxist socialism” on the country...Foreign companies and domestic farms alike were seized by the government while gangs of leftist marauders, armed by the authorities, stalked the countryside...It was this germinating tyranny that the 1973 coup uprooted.
So can we finally set the historical record straight and put an end to the rumors? Augustine Pinochet did not “torture and kill” people. He tortured and killed Communists.

A great Soviet general was once asked by his adjutant, "Comrade General,
what is the meaning of Marxist dialectic?"
The general replied, "I will explain it to you with an example. A filthy
man is standing outside a bath house. Will he go in?"
"Of course," replied the adjutant.
"No, you're wrong," said the general. "A filthy man is filthy by his nature,
and will not go in to the bath house. Only clean men, knowing the virtues of
cleanliness, will bathe."
"I understand, comrade general."
"Now, let me give you another example. A filthy man is standing outside
a bath house. Will he go in?"
"Absolutely not," replied the adjutant immediately.
"You're wrong again," said the general. "Why should a filthy man not
enter a bath house? He is dirty, the bath house is there to enable him to
become clean, and he will use it."
"I think I more...