Mccartney Jokes

A lady was a huge Paul MCCartney fan and wanted a tattoo of him on the inside of her thigh. She went to the parlour and told the guy what she wanted.
He says: "OK, take your skirt and underwear off and sit in the chair with your legs apart".
She did that and he started on the tattoo. Pretty soon he's done, blows off the dust and admires his work.
"Who the heck's that?" she says. "It's Paul McCartney", he replies.
"Doesn't look like him at all" says she. "Now get it right or I'll report you".
So the tattooist starts on the other thigh. Really trying hard to do a better job. Finally he's done, blows off the dust and feels pretty good.
The woman is pissed off "No way that's Paul Mccartney" she says. "It bloody well is" says the man. "Listen I'll get a second opinion"
He goes out of his store and grabs the first person he sees. The guy is a drunk who's been stumbling along the more...

A lady was a huge Paul MCCartney fan and wanted a tattoo of him on the inside of her thigh. She went to the parlour and told the guy what she wanted.
He says: "OK, take your skirt and underwear off and sit in the chair with your legs apart".
She did that and he started on the tattoo. Pretty soon he's done, blows off the dust and admires his work.
"Who the heck's that?" she says.
"It's Paul McCartney", he replies.
"Doesn't look like him at all" says she. "Now get it right or I'll report you".
So the tattooist starts on the other thigh. Really trying hard to do a better job. Finally he's done, blows off the dust and feels pretty good.
The woman is pissed off "No way that's Paul Mccartney" she says.
"It bloody well is" says the man. "Listen I'll get a second opinion"
He goes out of his store and grabs the first person he sees. The guy is a drunk who's been stumbling along more...

A lady was a huge Paul MCCartney fan and wanted a tattoo of him on the inside of her thigh. She went to the parlour and told the guy what she wanted.He says: "OK, take your skirt and underwear off and sit in the chair with your legs apart".She did that and he started on the tattoo. Pretty soon he's done, blows off the dust and admires his work."Who the heck's that?" she says."It's Paul McCartney", he replies."Doesn't look like him at all" says she. "Now get it right or I'll report you".So the tattooist starts on the other thigh. Really trying hard to do a better job. Finally he's done, blows off the dust and feels pretty good.The woman is pissed off "No way that's Paul Mccartney" she says."It bloody well is" says the man. "Listen I'll get a second opinion"He goes out of his store and grabs the first person he sees. The guy is a drunk who's been stumbling along the sidewalk. The tattooist drags the drunk more...

The McCartney kids are at the family ranch anxiouslyawaiting news of their mother. Paul emerges from his wife's bedroom. "Kid's...... there's good news and bad news." "The bad news is your mother's strength and will tolive has been sucked away by her awful disease and shedied a few moments ago" "The good news is.... It's steak and chips for dinner!"

Former Beatle, Paul McCartney and soon to be ex-wife/ hopscotch enthusiast, Heather Mills have hired the same divorce lawyers that handled the Chuck and Di divorce. McCartney, even offered the former escort a settlement of $50,000,000. He said it was just enough to give her a leg up and back on her foot.