Meal Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Top 10 Least Desirable Fortunes in a Fortune Cookie: Everyone's meal today is on you! The' special sauce' came from the floor! Guess what our special' drop' was in our Egg Drop Soup and win a free meal!! Your colon will self destruct in five seconds. A recent prison escapee that is sitting near by wants to love you long time. Your dog Sparky... he's no longer missing. See the waiter about our new food poison life insurance policies. We know where you live. You will need good reading material in approximately 15 minutes. MSG? NO!! Ebola Virus.... maybe

The Top 10 Least Desirable Fortunes in a Fortune Cookie We know where you live. You will need good reading material in approximately 15 minutes. Everyone's meal today is on you! The "special sauce" came from the floor! Guess what our special "drop" was in our Egg Drop Soup and win a free meal! Your colon will self destruct in five seconds. A recent prison escapee that is sitting near by wants to love you long time. Your dog Sparky...he's no longer missing. See the waiter about our new food poison life insurance policies. MSG? NO! Ebola Virus....maybe

A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost. It's been nearly three weeks since he's eaten anything besides what he could forage and he's been reduced to sleeping in caves and under trees.
One afternoon he comes upon an old mansion in the woods. It has vines covering most of it and the man can't see any other buildings in the area. However, he sees smoke coming out of the chimney implying someone is home.
He knocks on the door and an old man answers, with a beard almost down to the ground. The old man squints his eyes and says "What do you want?"
The man says "I've been lost for the past three weeks and haven't had a decent meal or sleep since that time. I would be most gracious if I could have a meal and sleep in your house for tonight"
The old Chinese man says "I'll let you come in on one condition: You cannot mess around with my grandaughter"
The man, exhausted and hungry readily agrees, saying "I more...

The phone rang as I was setting down to my anticipated
evening meal, and as I answered it I was greeted with " is
this William Wagenhoss" not sounding anything like my name, so I said who is calling?
The telemarketer said he was with The Rubber band Powered Freezer company or something like that and then I asked him if he knew William personally and why was he calling this number. I then said off to the side, "get really good pictures of the body and all the blood" then turned back to the phone and advised the caller that he had entered a murder scene and must stay on the line because we had already traced this call and he would be
receiving a summons to appear in the local courthouse to
testify in this murder case.
I then questioned the caller at great length as to his
name, address, phone number at home, at work, who he worked for, how he knew the dead guy and could he prove where he had been about one hour before he made this more...

A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there's a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, "Waitress, there's a hair in my hamburger! I demand to see what is going on!"

A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's
hopelessly lost. It's been nearly three weeks since he's eaten anything
besides what he could forage and he's been reduced to sleeping in caves
and under trees.
One afternoon he comes upon an old mansion in the woods.
It has vines covering most of it and the man can't see any other
buildings in the area. However, he sees smoke coming out of the
chimney implying someone is home.
He knocks on the door and an old man answers, with a
beard almost down to the ground. The old man squints his eyes
and says "What do you want?"
The man says "I've been lost for the past three weeks
and haven't had a decent meal or sleep since that time. I would
be most gracious if I could have a meal and sleep in your house
for tonight"
The old Chinese man says "I'll let you come in on one
condition: You cannot mess around with my grandaughter"
The more...

One day an american guy visits spain.after watching an exciting bull fight, he goes into a restaurant for dinner.while he waits for his meal, a waitor walks by with a steaming plate of food. the american guy asks the waitor what it is. the waitor relpies that it is bulls testicles from thefight. wlling to try anything once, the american orders one for the next day...
the next afternoon, the american walks into the restaurant and sits down to his meal. when he sees the waitor, hetells him they are delicious, but why are they so much smaller than the ones yesterday? then the waitor tells him, sometimes the bull wins!