Member Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Reverend John Fuzz was pastor of a small
congregation in a little Pennsylvania town. One day he was walking down Main Street and he happened to notice a female member of his congregation sitting in the town bar, drinking beer. The reverend thought this was sinful and not something a member of his congregation should do, so he walked through the open door of the bar and sat down next to the woman.
"Mrs. Fitzgerald," the reverend said sternly.
"This is no place for a member of my congregation. Why don't
you let me take you home?"
you let me take you home?"
"Shure," she said with a slur, obviously very drunk.
When Mrs Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to
weave back and forth. The reverend realized that she had
had too much to drink and he grabbed hold of her arms to
steady her. When he did, they both lost their balance and
tumbled to the floor. After rolling around more...
There is a sale on any item, you buy 100 of them.
You put your clothes in suitcases instead of wardrobes.
You have a' Singer Brother' sewing machine at home.
Your mother has a minor disagreement with her (or your dad's) sister and doesn't talk to her for ten years.
You call an older person you've never met before "uncle".
You hide everything from your parents.
Your mother does everything for you if you are male.
You do all the housework and cooking if you are female.
Your relatives alone could populate a small city.
Everyone is a family friend.
Everyone always called you for help on homework.
You read law, medicine or engineering at university.
You were thick (i. e. stupid) so you studied accounting or business instead.
You know no one who has studied music.
You went to a university as far away from home as possible.
You still came back home to live with your parents after you had finished.
Your more...
What is the difference between a Scottish man and a member of the Rolling Stones?
A member of the Rolling Stones says, "Hey you! Get off my cloud!" The Scot says, "Hey McCloud, get off my ewe!"
What is the difference between a Scottish man and a member of the Rolling Stones? A member of the Rolling Stones says, "Hey you! Get off my cloud!" The Scot says, "Hey McCloud, get off my ewe!"
HAVE YOU GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO JOIN THE PUBLIC SERVICE?
Welcome to this year's public service exam.
I see that all of you have been able to find yourself a seat and desk so obviously you've got what it takes to be public servants.
Should you pass this exam and become a member of the public service, you will enjoy not only the esteem and envy of all your friends but also a unique package of fringe benefits, including:
* An early retirement scheme which allows you to retire while still turning up for work
* flexitime which enables you to decide when you don't want to work at work and when you don't want to work away from work
* free use of government stationery (this has been facilitated by the introduction of eight-items-or-less lanes as you leave the building.
I must at this stage warn all examinees that anyone found cheating or copying from their neighbour's paper will be automatically assigned to Parliament - regardless of more...
"Are you a member of any organized political party?" "No. I'm a Republican."
The Reverend John Fuzz was pastor of a small congregation in a little Pennsylvania town. One day he was walking down Main Street and he happened to notice a female member of his congregation sitting in the town bar, drinking beer. The reverend thought this was sinful and not something a member of his congregation should do, so he walked through the open door of the bar and sat down next to the woman.
"Mrs. Fitzgerald," the reverend said sternly. "This is no place for a member of my congregation. Why don't you let me take you home?"
"Shure," she said with a slur, obviously very drunk.
When Mrs. Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave back and forth. The reverend realised that she had had too much to drink and he grabbed hold of her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost their balance and tumbled to the floor. After rolling around for a few seconds, the reverend wound up lying on top of Mrs. Fitzgerald, more...