Member Jokes / Recent Jokes
1. Your family secretly tells you they're taking to you to Disneyland, but for some odd reason they blindfold you for the whole ride, and when they take it off the blindfold your at a psychiartirst. You start having complex dreams about Youthink and the members.
2. You start comparing your friends to the members on the site.
3. While buying lotto tickets, you have a list of your favorite member's birthdays.
4. You start remembering passages out of your term papers so that you can use them in an argument here.
5. Whenever you hear a question, you wonder if you can add it here.
6. You skipped a party with your friends so you could stay on here, drink a bottle on vodka, and pretend you are drinking with other members.
7. You start to mention this site and quoting what other members said on a thread at parties or when you get together with family/friends.
8. It's 2:30 am on a school night, and you tell yourself "just five more minutes" and 2 hours more...
A pickle, A cucumber, and a (member) were all sitting around discussing how bad their days were. The cucumber said I had the worst day ever my boss tried to pickle me. Oh yeah said the pickle my boss tried to eat me. I have all you guys beat said the (member), my owner stuck a bag over my head put me in a dark cave and made me do pushups till I threw up.
A lady here died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their service charges on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now is somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank:
Family Member: "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."
Citibank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."
Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"
Citibank: "Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"
Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"
Citibank: "Excuse me?"
Family more...
(I have to admit, this is the most accurate one that I've seen so far)
Do not scroll down to see the answers!!!
Adam Sandler's personality test...
You must follow the rules on this one exactly, otherwise it won't work. It's really scary how this works out. NO CHEATING!!!!
First, get a pen (or pencil) and paper.
Second, write the numbers one through six in a column.
Next to number one, write any number...
Next to number two, write the name of anyone to which you are really attracted (excluding spouses and current significant others)...
Next to three, write down the first color you can think of...
Next to number four, write the name of your first pet (when you were a kid, growing up)....
Next to number five write down the name of the first family member that comes to mind...
Next to number six write down the name of the second family member that comes to more...
If Scientists Wrote Nursery Rhymes How many can you solve? (Answers below)1. A research team proceeded toward the apex of a natural geologicprotuberance, the purpose of their expedition being the procurement ofa sample of fluid hydride of oxygen in a large vessel, the exact sizeof which was unspecified. One member of the team precipitantly descended, sustaining severe fractural damage to the upper cranial portion of hisanatomical structure. Subsequently, the second member of the teamperformed a self-rotational translation oriented in the direction takenby the first member.2. Complications arose during an investigation of dietary influence: oneresearcher was unable to assimilate adipose tissue and another was unableto consume tissue consisting chiefly of muscle fiber. By reciprocalarrangement between the two researchers, total consumption of the viandsunder consideration was achieved, this leaving the original container ofthe viands devoid of contents.3. A young male human was situated more...
Andy was a staunch Republican, while Mary was Democrat through and through. They met at a political rally, and spent many hours arguing back and forth, until eventually love blossomed, and they got married.
On the wedding night, however, as many of their friends had prophesied, they argued.
Turning their backs on each other, they went to sleep; but about 3 in the morning - "I'm sorry, Andy. There's been a split in the Democrat Party, and if the Republican member stood now, he'd get in with no problem."
"Too late, the Republican member stood as an Independent, and lost his deposit!"