Mercedes Jokes / Recent Jokes

Morron was driving his mercedes at a furious pace and suddenly hits the car ahead, a maruti, and both come to a complete halt. The maruti's driver, dumbo is furious. He steps out of his car and moves towards morron. He makes a circle on the road and asks morron to stand inside it and dares him to step out of it. He pulls out a rod and breaks the bonnet of the mercedes. He looks back at morron and finds him laughing cunningly. This makes him even more furious and goes about breaking all the windows of the expensive car. Again looking back he finds morron laughing! His anger peaking, dumbo smashes whatever part of the mercedes he can lay hands on. Yet again morron is found smiling. Frustated and tired, dumbo finally asks morron, "what's the matter with you? I have completely torn apart your car and you continue to smile, what's wrong with you?" morron replies, "well, you didn't know... You see, everytime you turned to smash my car, i stepped out of the circle!"

A lawyer's car stalled on the side of the freeway. As he was getting out to see what was the matter, a reckless driver swerved taking off the whole car door and knocking the lawyer to the ground. A passing police car pulled over.

As the policeman got out he heard the lawyer shouting,' my mercedes, my brand new mercedes!" As the policeman approached he was shocked to notice the lawyer's right arm missing.

' 'Do you realize your arm is gone?'' asked the policeman?

The lawyer, stunned, began to scream,
"My rolex, my brand new rolex!"

One day a horse and a chicken were playing in the meadow. In the middle of the meadow there was a mud hole. While wildly running around, the horse fell into the mud hole and became stuck. He spied the chicken near by and called for help. Hey, chicken, I'm stuck in the mud hole. Go to the farmer's house for help!' yelled the horse. The chicken took off and ran to the farm house, but the farmer was not home. The chicken saw the farmer's Mercedes in the driveway and decided to drive it out to the meadow to save the horse.
The chicken grabbed a coil of rope, hopped into the Mercedes and drove out to the meadow. Once there, he tied one end of the rope to the Mercedes and tossed the other end to the horse. The chicken hopped back in the Mercedes and pulled the horse from the mud. The horse was very grateful. He said, 'Thanks chicken, if you ever need anything you can count on me.' The chicken replied, 'No problem, Horse,' and both went on their separate ways.
A few weeks later, the more...

Felix parked his brand new Mercedes outside his favorite sporting goods store and went in to do a little perusing with his regular saleswoman, Janice.
Janice, a pretty blonde, happily greeted Felix when he entered the store. However, Felix asked to look around alone before he needed her help. She obliged and let him to do his thing.
A few minutes later, a frantic Janice came running up to him yelling, "Felix! Felix! I just saw someone driving off in your brand new car!"
"Oh no! Did you try to stop him?" exclaimed Felix.
"No," Janice replied, "I did better than that! I got the license plate number!"

Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged him and let him do his thing.
Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!"
"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?"
"No," she said, "I did better than that! I got the license plate number!"

Two rich men were talking over coffee and croissants at their country club one day and one of them said to the other one, "Hey, I tell you my driver is really stupid... you don't think so? Let me show you."
And he called his driver Banta Singh over and said, "Banta, here is a 10 dollar bill, go to the car showroom and buy me a Mercedes."
To which Banta replied, "Yes Sir! Right away!" and rushed off to the showroom. The rich man turned to his friend and said, "See, I told you he was stupid."
The other rich man said, "That's nothing, you want to see stupid, I will show you stupid." And he called his driver, Santa Singh: "Santa, go home now and check to see if I'm at home."
Santa said, "Yes Sir!! Right away, Sir" and ran home.
"See what I told you? He doesn't even have enough brains to know that I cannot be at home if I am here."
Later on, the two drivers met on the road. Banta more...

Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman.Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing.Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!""Dear God! Did you try to stop him?""No," she said, "I did better than that! I got the license plate number!"