Merchant Jokes / Recent Jokes

A newly married couple was on holiday in the Middle East and they came upon the main city bazaar. They walked around the market place looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop.

From inside they heard a gentleman say "you foreigners? Come in my friends. Come into my humble shop. Salam aleekem!" (hello in English) So the couple walked in. The bazaar merchant says to them, "I have some special sandals I think you'd be interested in. They make you wild at sex like a great desert camel."

After hearing this statement, the wife became intrigued and encouraged her husband to try them on. Her husband smirked and winked at his wife, with the comment, "I don't think I really need them." But since they were having fun in the bazaar, he asked the merchant, "So, how could sandals make you into a sex animal.?"

The merchant smiled and replied "Just try them on, my friend, trust me!" Well, in more...

A merchant captain and several of his officers were returning to the ship after a big night ashore. As they climbed the gangway the captain threw up all over himself. Pointing to an apprentice seaman above him he shouted, "Give that man five days in the brig for vomiting on me!" The following morning the captain was checking the log and saw that the young seaman had been sentenced to ten days and asked the chief mate why. "Well Sir, when we got you undressed we found that he'd also shit in your pants."

As was the custom in the small town, the new student at the Yeshiva was invited to the richest merchant's home for Friday night dinner. The new student was tall and handsome, the merchant had a pretty daughter, so as the Friday nights passed by, the glances between the young people got bolderand more passionate. When their love could no longer be ignored, the pappa invited the young student to his study for an after dinner liquor and conversation.
The pappa asked "What are your intentions towards my daugter?"
The student replied, "Sir, I love your daughter and wish to marry her!"
The pappa asked " How do you intend to keep her in the style to which she is accustomed?"
The student replied "Sir, I will study very hard and the good Lord will provide"
The pappa then asked again, " But what will you do when the children arrive?"
The student replied " Sir, I will study even harder and the good Lord will surely more...

one day a travel merchant looks out his window and sees an old lady and old man schlepping bags of shopping in the rain.the merchant feels sorry for them and thinks "i'll do my mitzvah of the day and give the couple some tickets to barbados".
so he gives them their free tickets and they go on their cruise to barbados.
next week the old lady comes in and says to the merchant "thankyou for the free ticket, i really enjoyed myself.just one thing though.who's the old man?"

A story concerns itself with a wholesaler in New York who sent a letter to the
postmaster of a small mid-western town. He asked for the name of an honest lawyer who would take a collection case against a local debtor who had refused to pay for a shipment of the wholesaler's goods. He got this reply:“Dear Sir:
“I am the postmaster of this village and received your letter. I am also an
honest lawyer and ordinarily would be pleased to accept a case against a local debtor. In this case, however, I also happen to be the person you sold those crummy goods to. I received your demand to pay and refused to honor it. I am also the banker you sent the draft to draw on the merchant, and I sent that back with a note stating that the merchant had refused to pay. And if I were not, for the time being, substituting for the pastor of our local church, I would tell you just where you could stick your claim.”