Mere Jokes / Recent Jokes

Ever wondered what heaven looks like?
Bill Gates died and, much to everyone's surprise, went to Heaven. When he got there, he had to wait in the reception area.
Heaven's reception area was the size of Massachusetts. There were literally millions of people milling about, living in tents with nothing to do all day. Food and water were being distributed from the backs of trucks, while staffers with clipboards slowly worked their way through the crowd. Bill lived in a tent for three weeks until, finally, one of the staffers approached him. The staffer was a young man in his late teens, face scarred with acne. He was wearing a blue T-shirt with the words TEAM PETER emblazoned on it in large yellow lettering.
"Hello," said the staffer in a bored voice that could have been the voice of any clerk in any overgrown bureaucracy. "My name is Gabriel and I'll be your induction coordinator." Bill started to ask a question, but Gabriel interrupted him. "No, more...

Sardar: (biwi se) koi aisi baat kaho mujhse ke mere pair zameen par na rahe.
Biwi: tujhe phansi kyu nahi laga lende.

Mere unassisted merit advances slowly, if it advances at all.

Bill Gates died and, much to everyone's surprise, went to Heaven. When
he got there, he had to wait in the reception area.
Heaven's reception area was the size of Massachusetts. There were
literally millions of people milling about, living in tents with nothing to
do all day. Food and water were being distributed from the backs of trucks,
while staffers with clipboards slowly worked their way through the crowd.
Booze and drugs were being passed around. Fights were commonplace.
Sanitation conditions were appalling. All in all, the scene looked like
Woodstock gone metastatic.
Bill lived in a tent for three weeks until, finally, one of the
staffers approached him. The staffer was a young man in his late teens,
face scarred with acne. He was wearing a blue T-shirt with the words TEAM
PETER emblazoned on it in large yellow lettering.
"Hello," said the staffer in a bored voice that could have been the
voice of more...

This one is about Santa Singhji... our English lecturer
Santa Singh ji is the English teacher in a school. He is very well renowned, since all his students do very well in exams.
The school is having an inspection and the inspector decided to visit the English class. This is what transpires:
Santa Singh: " Bolo bachon GADHA "
Students (in chorous): "GADHA "
Santa Singh: " Bolo bachon GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA "
Students (in chorous): "GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA "
Santa Singh: " Bolo bachon GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN "
Students (in chorous): "GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN"
Santa Singh: " Bolo bachon GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH "
Students (in chorous): "GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH"
By this time the inspector is furious. He more...

One day a dog was running behind a sardar.. But the sardar was laughing or he was very happy. One man asked why you are so

Happy? He said: mere paas airtel mobile hai. Aur hutch ka network mere picche daud raha hai..

Santa: Bakri se door bhag raha tha.
Banta: Bhag kyon rahe ho?
Santa: Mere Papa ne kaha tha mere dimag me bhoosa bhara hai, soch raha hun kahin ye kha na jaye!!