Michael Jokes / Recent Jokes

Kids-r-us is featuring all children's clothing half off. That's how Michael would have wanted it.

Michael Jackson went to church and confessed "Forgive me father, for I have sinned with young boys".
The priest replied "It's OK, I have done it also."

Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson get to the Pearly Gates together, and Farrah says "Before I see St. Peter, I should probably say I'msorry if my swimsuit poster caused impure thoughts for any teenageboys." Michael Jackson replies "Good idea. I'm sorry I never called tothank you."

A pilot, Michael Jordon, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a pizza delivery man were all in a plane together traveling through stormy conditions. Suddenly, the pilot came running back to the passengers and announced that lightning had hit the plane, and they were going to crash in a matter of minutes. "There are only enough parachutes for four of the five of us," he announced. "Since I'm the pilot, I get one!" After saying this, the pilot grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane. "I'm the world's greatest athlete," proclaimed Michael Jordon. "This world needs great athletes, so I must live." Michael Jordon then grabbed a parachute and leaped out of the plane. "I'm the smarest man in the world," bragged Bill Gates. "The world needs smart men, so I must also live!" Bill Gates grabbed a parachute and jumped out of the plane. At this point, the Pope began to speak. "I have lived a long life compared to you, and you may take more...

michael jacksons girl friend gave birth in a hospital. so michael went over to the doctor pulled him to one side and said "when do you think we can start having sex?" the doctor says "fuckin hell michael wait until the baby is a couple of month old.

the police searched michael jackson's house they found class a drugs in the lounge, class b drugs in the kitchen and class 5c in the bedroom!

Michael Jordan will make over $300,000 a game, $10,000 a minute assuming he averages about 30 minutes a game.
Assuming $40 mil in endorsements next year, he'll be making $178,100 a day (working or not)!
Assuming he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.
If he goes to see Independence Day, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll make $18,550 while he's there.
If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it.
He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage (after the wage hike)
He'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends.
If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 days.
If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second.
A quickie will net him $1855.
He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be 'reimbursed' $33,390 for that more...