Military Jokes / Recent Jokes
I was an Air Force ICBM launch control officer in South Dakota. Two officers pulled 24-hour alerts in a launch control center that was surrounded by several Minuteman II silos. The facility and the silos were separated by several miles. We were not allowed to leave the "capsule" until relieved the next day, and we were supported by several on-site personnel in the support building upstairs. The capsules were Spartan, but each boasted a small refrigerator and a small microwave. On one tour of duty, the cook called down around lunch time and informed us that she was cleaning her oven and that hot food would be unavailable for a short time. Later, around supper time, she called down again and apologized that she had dismantled her oven to clean it, was having trouble reassembling it, and would again be unable to heat our food orders. We were somewhat annoyed, but, being the kinder, gent ler military officers we were, told her "No problem. Just send down the frozen meals more...
- What do you think about the coming battle, General?- God knows it will be lost.- Then why should we go for it?- To find out who is the loser.
A soldier in Vietnam saw a local man coming down the road with his wife behind him with a bicycle loaded with all their worldly possessions. The soldier asked him why he carried nothing but a cigarette and his wife had to push the bicycle alone. The man replied, "TRADITION".
Two weeks later he saw the same local man on the same road but this time she was in front and he was pushing the loaded bicycle. The soldier asked him what happened to TRADITION and the man said "LAND MINES"
A farm boy was drafted. On his first furlough, his Father asked him what he thought of Army life.
'It's pretty good Pa. The food's not bad, the work's easy, but best of all, they let ya sleep real late in the morning.'
A recruit examines the food served to him in the batallion dining room. - Do I have any choice here, he asks a sergeant. - Yes, you do. You may eat it or not.