Milkman Jokes / Recent Jokes

"Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one." "Please leave an extra pint of paralyzed milk." "Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it" "Milkman please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk." "Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks." "Sorry about yesterday's note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round." "When you leave my milk knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you' to give me a hand to turn the mattress." My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle." "Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbor told me." "Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply more...

Once upon a time, there lived a little red man, and he lived in a little red house. He was having a bath in his little red bath tub when the doorbell rang. So he got out of his little red bath tub and put his little red towel around his waist. He ran down his stairs and opened the door to the milkman. Suddenly, his towel slipped off, and the milkman gasped in horror and ran for his life. He darted across a road, still terrified, and was tragically run over. The moral of the story: Never cross the road when the little red man is flashing!

"Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one."
"Please leave an extra pint of paralyzed milk."
"Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it"
"Milkman please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk."
"Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks."
"Sorry about yesterday's note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round."
"When you leave my milk knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you' to give me a hand to turn the mattress."
My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle."
"Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbor told me."
"Milk is needed more...

A blonde heard that milk baths make you beautiful. So she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk.

When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake.

He thought she probably meant 1. 5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point.

The blonde came to the door and the milkman said: "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1. 5 gallons?"

The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub with milk and take a milk bath."

The milkman asked, "Pasteurized?"

The blonde said, "No just up to my boobs."

When the milkman read the note he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1. 5 gallons, so knocked on the door to clarify the point.
The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, “I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1. 5 gallons? ”
The blonde said, “I want 15 gallons. I’m going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath to make me more attractive. ”
The milkman replied, “Oh, OK. Pasteurized? ”
The blonde looked at the milkman with a confused look on her face and said…
“No. Just up to my b**bs. ”

A milkman was making his deliveries and found a note attached to a customers door saying "I need 45 gallons of milk."
He knocked on the door and a beautiful blond answered it.
"Is this a mistake?"
the milkman asked.
"No," she said, "I was watching a talk show and it said that bathing in milk is good for your skin."
"Really?"
replied the milkman.
"Do you want it pasteurised?"
"No, up to my tits would be fine," she said

This blonde heard that milk baths would make you beautiful. She left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1. 5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde answered the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 15 gallons or 1. 5 gallons?"
The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."

The milkman asked, "Pasteurized?" The blonde said, "No. Just up to my tits."