Minus Jokes

"Jack-O-Lantern" minus "O" minus "Lantern" plus "Nixon" minus "Sun" plus "Olsen" equals "Jack Nicholson," star of "The Shining."

Y2K Ballad
(sing to the tune of ''Gilligan's Island'')
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale
Of the doom that is our fate.
That started when programmers used
Two digits for a date
Two digits for a date
RAM memory was smaller then;
Hard drives were tiny, too.
''Four digits are extravagant,
So let's get by with two.
So let's get by with two.''
''This works through 1999,''
The programmers did say.
''Unless we write new code by then
The data goes away.
The data goes away.''
But management had not a clue;
''It works fine now, you bet!
Rewriting code cost money,
We won't do it just yet.
We won't do it just yet.''
Now when 2000 rolls around
It all goes straight to hell,
For zero less then ninety-nine,
As anyone can tell.
As anyone can tell.
The mail won't bring your pension check;
It won't be sent to you
When you're no longer sixty-eight
But minus thirty-two.
But more...

The owner of a golf course in Knoxville, Tennessee was confused about paying an invoice minus his early payment discount, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Tennessee and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my earrings."

My dog is great at math. Really? Ask him how much is two minus two. But two minus two is nothing! That's what he'll answer, nothing!

My dog is great at math. Really? Ask him how much is two minus two. But two minus two is nothing! Thats what hell answer, nothing!