Minus Jokes / Recent Jokes

One semester at the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis, an art student asked a friend of his if he could paint his portrait for a class assignment. The friend agreed, and the art student painted and submitted the portrait, only to receive a C minus.

The art student approached the professor to ask why the grade was so poor.

The teacher told him that the proportions in the painting were incorrect.

"The head is too big," the professor explained. "The shoulders are too wide, and the feet are enormous."

The next day, the art student brought his friend to see the professor. He took one look at the young man, whose odds features matched the portrait exactly, and said, "Okay, A minus."

My dog is great at math. Really? Ask him how much is two minus two. But two minus two is nothing! Thats what hell answer, nothing!

"Jack-O-Lantern" minus "O" minus "Lantern" plus "Nixon" minus "Sun" plus "Olsen" equals "Jack Nicholson," star of "The Shining."

I can let you have this top-of-the-line stereo for nine hundred dollars, minus six percent for cash," the salesman said.
The customer, not able to figure the calculation, said he would think about the deal and return the next day.
That evening, the fellow asked his female friend, "If you were offered nine hundred dollars minus six percent, how much would you take off?"
"Everything but my earrings," she purred.

My dog is great at math. Really? Ask him how much is two minus two. But two minus two is nothing! That's what he'll answer, nothing!

The owner of a golf course in Knoxville, Tennessee was confused about paying an invoice minus his early payment discount, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Tennessee and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my earrings."

If you are one of those people who feels tired of working too much, it is good to remember the words of Bernard Shaw who wrote: "The year is made up of 365 days, each having 24 hours,12 of which are night time hours, which add up to a total of 182 days.
This leaves you with 183 days to work minus 52 Sundays, which leaves you with 131 days to work minus 52 Saturdays, which leaves you with 79 days to work.
But, there are 4 hours each day, set aside for eating, which adds up to 60 days, which leaves you 19 days for working. But you are entitled to 15 days of your vacation, which means you have 4 days left for work minus 3 days, which you usually take off due to illness or other emergencies, which leaves you 1 day to work, which happens to be Labour Day which is a Holiday."
SO, WHY ARE YOU SO TIRED?