Mirror Jokes / Recent Jokes
A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks.One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in front of the mirror, now complaining that her breasts are too small.Uncharacteristically, the husband comes up with a suggestion. "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper, and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper, and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. "How long will this take?" she asks."They'll grow larger over a period of years," he replies. The wife stops. "Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?"The husband shrugs. "Why not, it worked for your butt, didn't more...
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife turning
back and forth, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was
not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday. I'd like
to be six again, she replied, still looking in the mirror. On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl
of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day!
He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear,
the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was. Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was
reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with
extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy,
M&M's. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her
husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He more...
This women had a magic morror from which anything you wanted you got, so one day she stood in front of the mirror and said I wish i had bigger breasts and it happened so then she ran down stairs to show her husband he was so amazed that he ran up stairs and stood infront of the mirror and said i wish my dick could touch the floor and his legs fell off!
A woman went to shop for a mirror when she chanced upon an expensive one. When she asked why, the salesman told her it was magical, that if you recited a rhyme in front of it, your wishes would come true. The woman bought it and hung it on the door at home.
Mirror Mirror on the door
Make my busts a forty-four
The woman instantly had a huge chest. She told her husband but he was in doubt. He went to the mirror then and said:
Mirror Mirror on the door
Make my penis hit the floor
His legs were missing, leaving stumps mid-thigh.
I broke a mirror in my house, I'm supposed to get seven years of bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
Jokes Difference between boys and girls while using ATM (Bank's cash dispenser machines) Boys: 1. Drive to the bank, park and go to the Cash Dispenser. 2. Insert card 3. Dial code and desired amount 4. Take the cash, the card and the slip Girls: 1. Drive to the bank 2. Engine stalled 3. Check make-up in the mirror 4. Apply perfume 5. Manually check haircut 6. Park the car - failure 7. Park the car - failure 8. Park the car - Success 9. Search for the card in the handbag 10. Insert card, rejected by the machine 11. Throw phone card back in handbag, 12. Look for bank card. 13. Insert Card 14. Look for Secret Box (where secret code is written)in Handbag 15. Enter code 16. Study instructions for 2 minutes 17. #Cancel# 18. Re-enter code 19. #Cancel# 20. Call Boyfriend/husband to get correct the code 21. Enter desired amount 22. #Error# 23. Enter bigger amount 24. #Error# 25. Enter maximum amount 26. Cross fingers 27. Take cash 28. Go back to the car 29. Check make up in rear mirror 30. more...
An old man and his wife live isolated in the hills. One day, a peddler comes selling his wares. The old man spots a mirror and says, "how'd you get a picture of my pappy?" He then buys it immediately but fearing his wife's anger at his reckless spending, hides the mirror in the barn and creeps out to gaze at it from time to time.Eventually the wife gets suspicious of his frequent vists, so one night she waits until he's asleep and sneaks out to the barn. Right away she sees the mirror behind the boxes and picks it up. "So!" she says. "This is the hussy he's been foolin' around with!"