Miserable Jokes

There's this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He sits motionless, staring
like that for half-an-hour.
Then, this big guy breezes into the bar, steps next to him, reaches over, takes the drink from this
poor guy, and just drinks it all down. At that, the poor man starts crying.
The big guy, embarrassed, says: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I
just can't stand to see a man crying."
"No, it's not that," replies the little guy. "It's just that today is the worst day of my life!"
" First, I overslept and was late to an important meeting. My boss, who has a furious temper, fired
me! Then, when I left the building, I found out that my car had been stolen! The police filled out
some forms, but said they could do nothing."
"So next I got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found
that I left my more...

He turned his life around.
He used to be depressed and miserable.
Now he's miserable and depressed.

In her own eyes, Tori was the most popular girl around. "A lot of men are gonna be totally miserable when I marry."
"Really?" asked her date, "And just how many men are you intending to marry?"

Young Amanpreet never quite got over his miserable childhood as an orphan in the ghetto. When he turned 18 hejoined the Marines, but old habits die hard and one night thesergeant found him rummaging around the garbage and eatingout of the discarded cans and jars." On your free, Lizard Pecker," he bellowed. "You'll eat in the message hall -- you're no better than the rest of us!"

Young Amanpreet never quite got over his miserable childhood as an orphan in the ghetto. When he turned 18 hejoined the Marines, but old habits die hard and one night thesergeant found him rummaging around the garbage and eatingout of the discarded cans and jars."On your free, Lizard Pecker," he bellowed. "You'll eat in the message hall - you're no better than the rest of us!"