Miss Jokes / Recent Jokes
Mr. Perkins, the biology instructor at a posh suburban girl's junior college, said during class, "Miss Smythe, would you please name the organ of the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its normal size, and define the conditions."
Miss Smythe gasped, then said freezingly, "Mr. Perkins, I don't think that is a proper question to ask me. I assure you my parents will hear of this!" With that she sat down red-faced.
Unperturbed, Mr. Perkins called on Miss Johnson and asked the same question.
Miss Johnson, with composure, replied, "The pupil of the eye, in dim light."
"Correct," said Mr. Perkins. "And now, Miss Smythe, I have three things to say to you.
"One, you have not studied your lesson.
"Two, you have a dirty mind.
"And three, you will some day be faced with a dreadful disappointment."
Her family's Hezbollah connections aside, newly crowned Miss USA Rima Fakih made no secret of her own sympathies when she became a member of the Facebook group "It's Palestine, Not Israel."
Couldn't we finally come to some compromise on the name issue? Can't we just call it Palestein?
BREAKING NEWS:
Whitehouse press spokeswoman Joan Braithwaite has delivered the
following statement to media regarding accusation involving
impropriety between President Clinton and Miss Lewinsky:
The President absolutely did not engage in any sexual conduct
with Miss Lewinsky and will vigorously defend himself against
such claims.
However the President would like to state that it is possible
that a perfectly innocent incident has been twisted by right wing
Republicans in order to undermine his administration.
Mr. Clinton has said that there was an occasion when it was
necessary for him to adjust his clothing he noticed with some
embarrassment that his fly was undone. The President said that he
unfortunately had some difficulty with his clothing as his zipper
got stuck. Because Mr. Clinton has slight arthritis in his hands
he found he could not get the zipper up.
He therefore, for medical more...
Did you hear about the new "Miss Ebonics" pageant?
- It seems they only had 49 states. No one wanted to be Miss Idaho.
Why did Dracula miss lunch? Because he didnt fancy the stake.
"Today class," the teacher said, "we will be studying words that have three syllables. Which of you would care to give an example?"
Little Johnny immediately threw his hand up in the air, "Me, Miss Smith, please pick me."
"Ok, Johnny, let's hear your example of a three syllable word," said Miss Smith.
"How about... masturbate?" said Johnny.
"My goodness, very good Johnny. That's a mouthful," exclaimed Miss Smith.
"Oh no, Miss Smith," replied Johnny. "You're thinking about a blow job."
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island. One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a magic lamp. They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie. The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one." The brunette says, "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I just want to go home." POOF! The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family. Then, the red head says, "I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too." POOF! The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family. The blonde starts crying uncontrollably. The genie asks, "My dear, what's the matter?" The blonde whimpers, "I wish my friends were still here."