Missus Jokes

Padraic Flaherty came home drunk every evening toward ten. Now, the Missus was never too happy about it, either. So one night she hides in the cemetery and figures to scare the beejeezus out of him. As poor Pat wanders by, up from behind a tombstone she jumps in a red devil costume screaming, "Padraic Sean Flaherty, sure and ya` don`t give up you`re drinkin` and it`s to Hell I`ll take ye`". Pat, undaunted, staggered back and demanded, "Who the hell ARE you?". Too that the Missus replied, "I`m the divil ya` damned old fool". To which Flaherty remarked, "Damned glad to meet you sir, I`m married to yer sister."

A bloke came home and found his missus in bed with three blokes."Hello, hello, hello!" he screamed at them."Aren't you talking to me?" his missus snapped.

A bloke came home and found his missus in bed with three blokes." Hello, hello, hello!" he screamed at them." Aren't you talking to me?" his missus snapped.

We've heard the Redneck and Cajun versions - nor for Norwegian, yah?01. BYTE: how Lena stops Ole's advances.02. LOG ON: dats how ya make da vood stove hotter.03. LOG OFF: vhat Sven vas trying to do vhen he burnt his hands terrible.04. MONITOR: keep an eye on da vood stove.05. MEGAHERTZ: ven a big log drops on your foot.06. COMPACT DISK: vhat ya get from lifting logs dat's too heavy.07. FLOPPY DISK: vhat da lefse looks like vhen it's cooked yust right.08. RAM: da hydraulic ting dat makes da voodsplitter vork.09. DRIVE: how you get home ven da snow's not too deep.10. HARD DRIVE: dat's vhen you're going to Madison vhen da snow's deep.11. PROMPT: vhat ya vish da mail vas during da snow season.12. ENTER: vhen ya come on in!13. WINDOWS: vhat ya shut vhen it gets 10 below out.14. SCREEN: vaht ya gotta have in blackfly season.15. CHIP: vhat ya munch on during da Packer's game.16. MICROCHIP: vhat's left in da bottom of da bag vhen da big ones are gone.17. MODEM: vhat ve did to da hayfields more...

From one Sardar to another:
S-l: "How many rotis can you eat on an empty stomach?"
S-2: "Why four!"
S-l: "Oh, what a fool, once you have taken one roti, you are no more with as empty a stomach as when you started."
S-2 has a hearty laugh at himself.
Not to be outdone, S-2 goes home to confront his missus with the same query as S-l. The missus is very busy mixing atta for the night meal and in disgust, upon the insistence of her Sardar, answers angrily, three rotis.
S-2 is upset. If only the missus had said four there could have been a good joke!