Molecules Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two molecules are walking down the street and they run in to each other.One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!""Are you sure?""I'm positive!"

Two molecules are walking down the street and they run in to each other.

One says to the other, "Are you all right?"

"No, I lost an electron!"

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive!"

The beguiling ideas about science quoted here were gleaned from essays, exams, and classroom discussions. Most were from 5th and 6th graders. They illustrate Mark Twain's contention that the' most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.'



*Question: What is one horsepower? *Answer: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second.



*You can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it, you got hit, so never mind.



*Talc is found on rocks and on babies.



*The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down.



*When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.



*When people run around and around in circles more...

Test Tubes Bubbling
(to the tune of "Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire")
Test tubes bubbling in a water bath
Strong smells nipping at ypur nose.
Tiny molecules with their atoms all aglow
Will find it hard to be inert tonight.
They know that Chlorine's on its way
He's loaded lots of little electrons on his sleigh
And every student's slide rule is on the sly
To see if the teacher really can multiply.
And so I offer you this simple phrase
To chemistry students in this room
Although it's been said many times, many ways
Merry molecules to you.

*Question: What is one horsepower?*Answer: One horsepower is the amount of energy it takes to drag a horse 500 feet in one second. * You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind. * Talc is found on rocks and on babies. * The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down. * When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when theybroke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions. * When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we saythey are orbiting. * Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand. * While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really onlycentrificating. * Someday we may discover how to make magnets that can point in any direction. * South America has cold summers and hot winters, but somehow they still manage. * Most books now say our more...

The Wisdom of Youth Never give up because life gets harder as you get older. After preschool the road of life keeps getting bumpier and bumpier and bumpier. Angela Martin, age 11 Never blow in a cat's ear because if you do, usually after three or four times, they will bite your lips! And they don't let go for at least a minute. Lisa Coburn, age 9 Don't think life is easy, because when you get older it is hard work. I used to think life was easy, now I have to do the dishes every other day. Nick Coleman, age 9 Take risks. I mean, if you like this person and you don't know if they like you, ask them out and see what happens. I liked this girl and I asked her out. She said no and she hates me now, but I took that risk. Bruce Wagner, age 13 A realist is more correct about things in life than an optimist. But the optimist seems to have more friends and much more fun. Megan, age 14 When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, more...

Test Tubes Bubbling
(to the tune of "Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire")

Test tubes bubbling in a water bath
Strong smells nipping at ypur nose.
Tiny molecules with their atoms all aglow
Will find it hard to be inert tonight.

They know that Chlorine's on its way
He's loaded lots of little electrons on his sleigh
And every student's slide rule is on the sly
To see if the teacher really can multiply.

And so I offer you this simple phrase
To chemistry students in this room
Although it's been said many times, many ways
Merry molecules to you.