Mommy Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day a little girl came running into her house yelling, "Mommy, I got five dollars!" The mother was curious, so she asked her child where she got the five dollars from. The little girl replied,' 'Tommy down the street gave me five dollars for doing cartwheel while he sat in the tree. The mother told her daughter, "Don't you know that Tommy is just trying to see your panties."' 'OOOOhhhh'' said the little girl. The next day the little girl came running into the house yelling, "Mommy, I got ten dollars. The mother asked, "Where did you get the ten dollars from?" The little girl replied, "Tommy down the street gave me ten dollars for doing a cartwheel while he sat up in the tree and laughed." The mother replied, "Didn't I tell you that he is...'' Before the mother could finish, the little girl said,' 'Wait Mommy. I tricked him, I didn't wear any panties today.''

"Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?" "No, of course not. Now shut up and comb your face."

One day Steve is feeling a little turned on, so he calls his young daughter over and says, "Honey, go and tell mommy that I would really like to type a letter."
The little girl runs off and finds her mom. "Mommy," she shouts, "Daddy wants to type a letter."
Bev grins sheepishly and replies, "Sweetheart, go and tell Daddy that he can't type a letter today because there's a red ribbon in the typewriter."
She runs off to her father and gives him the message.
A few days later, Bev remembers that Steve was keen on a bit of nookie, so she calls her daughter over, "Sweetheart, go and tell Daddy that he can type his letter today."
The little girl goes off to find her father and tells him, "Daddy, Mommy said you can type your letter today."
"That's ok, honey," Steve replies, "You can tell mommy I don't need the typewriter anymore, I wrote my letter by hand."

One day, a little girl walked up to her mother, looked closely are her hair and sadly asked, "Mommy, why is some of your hair white?"
"Well, dear," her mother explained, "each time you do something wrong and make me cry or feel unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this for a few moments, then said, "Mommy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and
listened to her prayers which she ended by saying "God bless mommy, God
bless daddy, God bless grandma, and good-bye grandpa."
The father said "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?"
The little girl said "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing
to
do."
The next day grandpa died. Father thought it was a strange coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her
prayers, which went like this: "God bless mommy, God bless daddy and
good-bye grandma."
Next day the grandmother died.
My gosh, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other
side.
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her
say
"God bless mommy and good-bye daddy."
He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up
at
the more...

A woman had a few guests over and when dinner was served she asked her child to say grace. "But, Mommy, I don't know what to say." the girl said. "Just say what you've heard Mommy say." The girl smiled and nodded then bowed her head and said, "Dear God, why did I invite all these people over?"

DAY 1:
one day a little girl wanted to go to the park to jump rope and when she got there a boy asked her to climb up the tree to get his ball she did this and then went home
when so got home she said
GIRL: mommy today at the park I climbed the tree and got the ball for the boys
MOTHER: you should not do that in a dress!
GIRL: why mommy?
MOTHER: because all the boys want is to see your underwear!
DAY 2:
when the girl woke up the next day she got dressed and went to the park she had just started to jumprope when a boy asked her to climb the tree to get his ball so she did and then went home when she got home she said to her mother
GIRL: mommy i got the ball out of the tree for the boys again today
MOTHER: I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT THEY JUST WANT TO SEE YOUR UNDERWEAR!
DAY 3:
after getting yelled at by her mother the little girl said those boys will never see my underwear every again so she went to the park and started to jump rope in her more...