Montana Jokes / Recent Jokes
A judge has moved Travis Henry's cocaine-trafficking trial to Montana. It's believed to be the first time the words'Montana' and'traffic' have been used in the same sentence.
A sucessful business man became disenchanted with the stress of the fast life in the big city and decides to chuck it all. He takes his savings and purchases a large ranch in the middle of nowhere in Montana.
After a couple of months of enjoying the solitude, he hears the drumming of hoofbeats outside his cabin. Grabbing his rifle he challenges the man riding up on the horse.
"Hold it, neighbor," the man says, "I'm your neighbor, I have a ranch only six miles from here, and I want to invite you to a Welcome Party I'm throwing for you next Saturday. There's going to be music, dancing, hugging, kissing, drinking, fighting... We'll have a great time."
Not wanting to be unneighborly the new rancher lowers the rifle and asks, "How should I dress?"
"Aw, don't matter," replied the neighbor, "Only gonna be the two of us."
Aug. 12 Moved to our new home in Montana. It is so beautiful here. The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see the snow covering them.Oct. 14 Montana is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves have turned all colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the beautiful mountains and saw some deer. They are so graceful. Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on earth. This must be paradise! I love it here.Nov. 11 Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon. I love it here.Dec. 2 It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleared the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight, I won. Than the snowplow came by. We had to shovel the driveway again. What a beautiful place! I love Montana! Dec. 12 More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did it's trick again to the driveway. I more...
A lawyer was duck hunting in Montana recently, when he attempted to cross a fence into a field to retrieve a duck he had shot. The rancher suddenly pulled up in his pick-up truck, jumped out, and asked the lawyer what he was doing on his property.
"Retrieving this duck that I just shot", he replied.
"That duck is on my side of the fence, so now it's mine," replied the rancher.
The lawyer asked the rancher if he knew who he was talking to. "No", replied the rancher, "I don't know, and I don't care."
"I am a high priced attorney with a practice in New York. And if you don't let me get that duck, I can sue you for your ranch, your truck, your cattle, and everything else you own. I'll leave you penniless on the street."
"Well," said the rancher, "In Montana the only law we go by is the ‘3 kicks law'."
"Never heard of it", said the lawyer.
The rancher said, "I get to kick you more...