Month Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man walked into the bar and saw an old friend of his, drinking by himself. Approaching his friend, he commented, "You look awful. What's wrong?"
"My mother died in May and left me 25,00,000," the friend answered.
"Boy, that's tough," the man replied.
Continuing, the friend said, "Then in June, my dad died leaving me 50,00,000."
"Gosh, both parents gone in such a short period of time? No wonder you're depressed," said the man.
"Last month my aunt died and left me 10,00,000," the friend added.
"That's a lot to deal with. Losing three close family members in three months, is terrible!" replied the man.
"Then this month," continued the friend, "nothing! Not even a single rupee!"

Dear Abby:
I have been engaged to a really great girl for almost a year and will be married next month. My fiancee's mother is not only very attractive, but really great and understanding. She is putting the entire weddding together and invited me to her place to go over the invitation list because it has grown a bit beyond what we had expected it to be.
When I got to her place we reviewed the list and trimmed it down to just under a hundred... then she floored me.
She said that in a month I would be a married man and that before that happened, she wanted to have sex with me. Then, she just stood up and walked to her bedroom and on her way said that I knew where the front door was if I wanted to leave.
I looked at my future mother-in-law and couldn't help but notice that not only is she "knock-dead" beautiful, but she also has the body of a Playboy centerfold. I stood there for about five minutes and finally decided that I knew exactly how to deal with the more...

An idiot decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with. A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at the dealer for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died. "But I think I know where I'm going wrong," said the idiot, "I think I'm planting them too deep."

An idiot decides to start up a chicken farm, so he buys a hundred chickens to get up and running. A month later he returns to the dealer to get another hundred chickens because the first lot had died.
Another month passes and he's back at the dealers for another hundred chickens, "I think I know where I'm going wrong" he tells the dealer, "I think I'm planting them too deep."

One day a man saw a beggar on the street. He went to him and said "If you stop begging I will pay you Rs 1000 per month".
In reply the begger said "Come and beg with me and I will pay you Rs5000 per month

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
FROM: PERSONNEL DEPT.
SUBJECT: REST ROOM PRIVILEGES
In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the rest room under informal guidelines. Effective this date, a "Rest room Trip Policy" (RTP) will be established to provide a consistent method of accounting for each employee's rest room time.
Under this policy, a "Rest room Trip Bank" (RTB) will be established for each employee. The first day of each month, employees will be given a "Rest room Trip Credit" (RTC) of 20. RTCs can be accumulated from month to month.
Within two weeks, the entrance to all rest rooms are being equipped with personal identification stations and computer linked voice recognition devices. Before the end of March, each employee must provide the Personnel Dept. with two copies of voice prints, one normal and one under stress. The voice print recognition will be in operation, but not restrictive, for the rest of the month. Employees more...

Party photos of another Miss America contestant have surfaced. The pictures reportedly show Katie Rees (Miss Nevada 2007) exposing her breasts, passionately kissing other young women, and simulating oral sex with females and a male.
Earlier this month, Rees was the guest of honor at a Special Olympics bowling tournament and last month attended an event for underprivileged children.

Tickets are sold out for Miss Nevada's upcoming charity appearance at the Make-A-Wish foundation.