Mood Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man arrived home from work one day and found his wife alone in the kitchen in a great mood, dancing and singing.
"What has you in such a happy mood today?" he asked.
"I had my checkup today," she explained, "and my doctor said I have the breasts of an eighteen year old."
"Really," the husband replied, "and what did he have to say about your fifty year old ass?"
"Actually," she said, "your name never came up!"

To My Critics
When I am in a sober mood
I worry, work and think
When I am in a drunken mood
I gamble, fight and drink
But when all my moods are over
And the world has come to pass
I hope they bury me upside down
So the world can kiss my ass

> >ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING......... By Francie Baltazar-Schwartz
> >
> > Jerry was the kind of guy you love to hate. He was always
> > in a good mood and always had something positive to say.
> > When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply,
> > "If I were any better, I would be twins!"
> >
> > He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who
> > had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason
> > the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a
> > natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was
> > there telling the employee how to look on the positive side
> > of the situation.
> >
> > Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to
> > Jerry and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all
> >of the time. How do you do it?" Jerry replied,
> >
> > "Each more...

Steve just married his bride, but she had been a devote Catholic and thus was still a virgin. Trying to put her at ease on the wedding night he said, "Now that we're married, sweetheart, I don't want you to feel any pressure when it comes to making love. When you're in the mood for sex, yank on my penis once."
"What if I'm not in the mood for sex?" the bride asks.
"Then yank it a hundred times."

When im in a sobber mood, I worry work and think,
When im in a drunken mood I gamble play and drink,
But when my moods are over, And my time has come to pass,
I hope im buried upside down, So the world can kiss my ass.