Moon Jokes / Recent Jokes

The following gems of wisdom were gleaned from test papers and essays from elementary, junior high, high school, and college students. As one teacher noted, "It is truly astonishing what weird stuff our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades!""H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water." "To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube." "When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide." "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water." "There is no Nitrogen in Ireland because it is not found in a free state." "Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars." "Blood flows down one leg and up the other." "Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration." The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader." "Dew is more...

what do you call a thousand blondes on the moon?
A problem
what do you call all the blondes in the world on the moon?
A problem solved

What is the definition of "moon"? The past tense of "moo"!

Science definitions from Kids... H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water. To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube. When you smell a oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide. Water is composed of two gins, oxygin and hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water. Three kinds of blood vessels are: arteries, vanes, and caterpillers. Blood flows down one leg and up the other. Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration. The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader. Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull. Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire. A supersaturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold. Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas. The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects. The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out more...

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the
moon, he not only gave his famous "One Small Step for Man, One
Giant Leap for Mankind" statement, but followed it by several
remarks - usual COM traffic between him, the other astronauts and
Mission Control. Before he re-entered the lander, he made the
enigmatic remark "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky."
Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning
some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However upon checking, there was no
Gorsky in either the Russian nor American space programs.
Over the years, many people have questioned him as to what the
"Good luck, Mr. Gorsky" statement meant. On July 5 1995, in Tampa
Bay, FL, while answering questibrought up the 26 year old question to Armstrong. He finally
responded. It seems that Mr. Gorsky had died and so Armstrong felt
he could answer the question.
When he was a kid, Neil was playing more...

This little drama was told me by one of the Polish students in Oxford.
Apparently it was a popular joke in Poland during the late '80s.
Jocelyn Paine
[ Scene: The White House ]
Presidential Aide - Mr. Reagan!. Mr Reagan Sir!!! The Russians have just
landed on the Moon! And they've started to paint it
red! What shall we do?
Ronnie - Come back when they've finished, son.
P.A. [later] - Mr. Reagan Sir. The Russians have painted a quarter
of the moon red!
Ronnie - Don't worry about it, son. Tell me when they've finished.
P.A. [still later] - Mr. Reagan Sir. The Russians have now painted half the
moon red! Aren't you going to do anything?
Ronnie - Nope, not yet.
P.A. [still later and even more anxious]
- Mr. Reagan Sir. The Russians have now painted
THREE-QUARTERS of the moon red! Can we bomb them, Sir?
Please, Sir?
Ronnie - [ as before ]
P.A. - Mr Reagan. They've painted the WHOLE moon red!
Ronnie - OK. Now more...

What do u call 1 Paki on the moon?
Answer: A problem
What do u call 10 Paki's on the moon?
Answer: A problem
What do u call 100 Paki's on the moon?
Answer: A problem
What do u call all the Paki's on the moon?
Answer: Problem solved